Friday, 24 August 2007

No Answers

That phone call, one phone call, makes me rethink it all.

What I planned to do in a few days, has already been done, by someone I care about.

Do I still want to do it?! I don't see what has been done to be a mistake. Though I must hate him for it....maybe its because I see and feel what he went through, going through.

The question remains, will I go through with it???

Maybe not, for I don't want to. Yet, the urge is unbearable.

Everything has crumbled down...but I feel at peace, hurt, but at peace.

"Crazy skies all wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace"-Sail Away, David Gray

You can't make this easier on me.
Maybe its "software overload"...
Maybe its the lies...the betrayal...and the end..
Maybe its nothing, and I'm just "making myself miserable"...
Or maybe...maybe.....its the pain I going through for the life I tried giving, more than living...
Or maybe I'm just dazed, and these words are part of a dream........

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Silence.....


"Peace is found within one's silence, whereby all has existence. All fear, regret, pain and grief disappears. All is perfect and complete....."

Its awfully quiet today. The only thing that made me smile is a phone call.
I'm not upset, or am I just saying that to myself... So many different shades of life I see. So many dreams, so many people. Lies. The truth. Betrayal. Arguments. Bitter. Sweet. So many words to say, yet words fail me.

I miss writing, creatively. I can feel so useless among writers. The empathy in my words have vanished. Old friends break my heart. New ones are so far away.

I might travel soon. Something I hope happens. I hope it does. It will be a much needed break and fun!

It is awfully quiet today.
This silence will never end, will it?!

"Who have you been talking to, about your life?", she asked.
No one, the wind maybe...

Tears don't seem to want to leave the protection of these tired eyes.
Ah, what the hell, c'est la vie...

It is awfully quiet today.
Tomorrow is another day, another query, another doubt, another dream.
I guess that's the reason why I wake up everyday, for the mystery of it all...the spontaneity of it all, that's what gets me out of bed everyday...the mystery of it all..
It is awfully quiet today....maybe tomorrow's mystery will be something better...

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

Thoughts


Lets hold hands tonight,
And share the dreams.
Lets smile and laugh,
And keep the dreams alive.
The darkness unfolds into inspiration,
And daylight into reality.
What we are not,
Is what we are.