Monday, 12 December 2011

poetry for thought

title: boat man

I want to be like him,
The man who steers the boat,
So sure where to turn,
Where to find the dolphins.
I want to be like him,
So fit, so strong,
To make the ocean
His empire.
I want to be like him,
With a home,
With a family who waits
For his return.
I want to be like him,
A fisherman, a strong man,
Like a force of nature,
Charging into the faith of life.
I want to be like him,
Sure, real, practical,
Working hard,
With an aim.
I want to be like him,
Smiling through his pain,
The pain in his shoulder
From the years of steering.
I want to be like him,
Who knows nothing
Of physiotherapy
And painkillers.
I want to be like him,
With just one family,
One aim,
One life.
I want to be like him,
With one love,
And maybe some to follow,
One heart.
I want to be like him,
Who's first love is the ocean,
And second the world around,
And his smile takes over.
I want to be like him,
Calm, loving, caring
To the ocean around him,
Lusting its rage.
I want to be like him,
Lusting the ocean's wrath,
Its desire, its hate and love,
Its calm before the storm.
I want to be like him,
Him one with her,
Her, the ocean,
Tame to him.
I want to be like him,
Taming and calming,
Raging and soaring,
All at once.
I want to be like him,
Him one with her,
Her, the ocean,
Obeying him.
I want to be like him,
Lusting, needing her,
Her, the ocean,
Lusting, needing him.

Thursday, 24 November 2011

poetry for thought

Title: paralyzed without you

Without a smile,
Without a kiss,
With a little bit of pain,
Paralyzed without you.
Without a touch,
Without a breath,
With a little sigh,
Paralyzed without you.
Without a tease,
Without a blanket,
With a thought,
Paralyzed without you.
Without the melody,
Without the lyrics,
With a sad, sad harmony,
Paralyzed without you.
Without a listener,
Without a voice,
With a voice whispering your name,
Paralyzed without you.
Without a stop,
Without a start,
With an hour,
Paralyzed without you.
Without you,
Without me,
With that ends the us,
Paralyzed without you.
Without the sky,
Without the earth,
With the in between,
Paralyzed without you.
Without you,
What will I do,
Only with the memory,
Paralyzed without you.
Without you,
What will I do,
All I have is the memory,
Paralyzed without you.

Friday, 28 October 2011


Hey you,

It’s amazing how a song can make you feel so much. So many sounds, so many smells just come surging back. It has not been easy. These days. These moments. These memories. These questions. And it isn’t just one question. It is so many. How does one over come something that tears every cell in one’s body?

How do you just not feel anything? As if all is lost and the pieces left behind will never ever be part of that big puzzle it used be. Just pieces now. Broken. Spilt across the world. Across all the dreams and wishes. Life takes over. And I always say that. And the suffering will end. And the pain will become another personality. How do you survive the world without that light?

I have become safe. Risk isn’t a part of my dictionary anymore. How will I explain to my family? How will I be able to afford it? Will I be able to do it? Confidence, self reliance, independence, happiness, surety, safety, laughter, content…where are these words now? Where is that girl? I heard a song the other day. Which said the same thing, where is that girl, have you seen her lately?

Writing has become a task. And I don’t mean poetry. Even this. I know I have so much to say. But when I start to write it’s like lightening. So fast in my head. So whatever these fingers can grab, here..take it.

What if I fall and hurt myself
Would you know how to fix me?
What if I went and lost myself
Would you know where to find me?
If forgot who I am
Would you please remind me?
Oh, 'cause without you, things go hazy.

These lines say a lot more than what I have tried to say.

Love, me

Friday, 21 October 2011

poerty for thought

title: that feeling

suddenly i see that i have lost you,
or probably i have lost the idea of you,
and now you have nothing to say to me anymore,
you wonder how you would say anything,
how you would pack all the things you haven't said yet,
how to have a conversation again,
how to smile and nod at irrelevant information about my day.
when did it become about serious, relevant things,
didn't we always find things to laugh about,
talk about, tell each other our experiences with sex,
with love, with lust, with hate, with dreams,
and now, i long for a newsfeed,
a tinkle in my blackberry to notify an email,
but those things have become hope.
but you say you can’t say,
you say you're bursting with things to say,
but you haven't yet,
you don't, and suddenly i feel
you aren't near me anymore,
you don’t hear anymore,
and i don't hear you anymore.
and suddenly the ground under me has been
dragged away, and i didn’t even know,
and i am left with a hope,
but i am also left with confidence
that we can never fix this,
this black hole that 'we" are in,
the uncomfortable silences is all we have now,
...suddenly i see i have lost you.

Tuesday, 6 September 2011


it has been a long time.
new job. new love. new heartache.

people who know me might just not agree with the heartache; but they will with the new love.
seems like i've fallen for, fallen flat on my face, had a short crush, a long infatuation, an ex lover, a new lover all packed up in one day. but that's the joke that has formed out of it all. it doesn't matter though, because i know i love love. and i don't think i want to change that. :)

so i love you.
do you know what i'm thinking when i kiss your lips?
do you know that i smile?
do you ever stop to think for once how my emotions function?

not a player. yet. i just fall for the moment i guess.

very random, yet here it is on the internet to be judged.

literally thoughts. someone asked me one day if i have a blog. when i said yes, i was asked if it is one of those sappy "my thoughts" type blog, where i'd open up up about literally anything. and i smiled and said, yes of course it is.

and if this rant of mine has made you think, feel, want, then that's all that matters.

take the plunge. you got one life. and when you meet someone that means a lot, someone you know can make you take the leap of faith, you'll know. until then, don't be afraid to fall for someone, but know what you want before you plunge into their lives. know what you feel for them/him/her :) and never hide it. we all look for the same thing at the end of the road. there may be no light there, but there sure will be someone you love waiting. and with the friends i have made along they way, i know i won't be alone...

“So many fail because they don't get started - they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin.”
W. Clement Stone
to all the people who took that first step, the rest is going to be easy. this is only the beginning

Tuesday, 10 May 2011


hello world.

so it has been a while.
so i found a lot of good music. made new friends. made new changes.
but the old ones remain the same. no change.
ah. what to do.

anyway. i need to move. soon.
and i remember writing here about not wanting to move last time.
but this time. it. is. desperation.

so people are turning older.
making decisions.
moving on. hopefully.
discovery also happened somewhere.

what is going on?
tell me a story.
something about your day?

did you see a cat?
a lizard?
some one sent you flowers?

ah. ok.
i will update more often. with thoughts.

see you soon.

Poetry for thought - and then - hello

title: Comma

and i fall,
into your arms,
and into your lips,
sinking deeper,
smiling wider,
watching you,
watching you be shy,
watching you try,
slowly, sometimes slower,
your eyes twinkle ,
sometimes when i kiss you,
sometimes when i run my fingers across your skin,
and i see you smile,
i see you smile, surprised,
surprised at what you can be,
surprised what i can be around you,
simple. it is so simple,
there is no name,
there is no song,
there is no love,
there is company,
there is laugh,
there is conversation,
there is kisses,
there is silence, sometimes,
so what are you doing now,
dreaming a little?
being a little less shy?
"Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation,"
so can we kiss agian?
yes, of course.
i want to play you song,
before this is over,
before we have names,
tagging everything we do and say,
so now, i will play my guitar,
practice a little, sing a lot more,
and then...
ok so i will
blog about you,
talk to you,
watch you,
kiss you.
what else can i do?

10 May 2011