Literally, thoughts...

poetry for thought

2011-12-12T16:39:00.004+05:30

title: boat man

I want to be like him,
The man who steers the boat,
So sure where to turn,
Where to find the dolphins.
I want to be like him,
So fit, so strong,
To make the ocean
His empire.
I want to be like him,
With a home,
With a family who waits
For his return.
I want to be like him,
A fisherman, a strong man,
Like a force of nature,
Charging into the faith of life.
I want to be like him,
Sure, real, practical,
Working hard,
With an aim.
I want to be like him,
Smiling through his pain,
The pain in his shoulder
From the years of steering.
I want to be like him,
Who knows nothing
Of physiotherapy
And painkillers.
I want to be like him,
With just one family,
One aim,
One life.
I want to be like him,
With one love,
And maybe some to follow,
One heart.
I want to be like him,
Who's first love is the ocean,
And second the world around,
And his smile takes over.
I want to be like him,
Calm, loving, caring
To the ocean around him,
Lusting its rage.
I want to be like him,
Lusting the ocean's wrath,
Its desire, its hate and love,
Its calm before the storm.
I want to be like him,
Him one with her,
Her, the ocean,
Tame to him.
I want to be like him,
Taming and calming,
Raging and soaring,
All at once.
I want to be like him,
Him one with her,
Her, the ocean,
Obeying him.
I want to be like him,
Lusting, needing her,
Her, the ocean,
Lusting, needing him.

poetry for thought

2011-11-24T10:25:00.001+05:30

Title: paralyzed without you

Without a smile,
Without a kiss,
With a little bit of pain,
Paralyzed without you.
Without a touch,
Without a breath,
With a little sigh,
Paralyzed without you.
Without a tease,
Without a blanket,
With a thought,
Paralyzed without you.
Without the melody,
Without the lyrics,
With a sad, sad harmony,
Paralyzed without you.
Without a listener,
Without a voice,
With a voice whispering your name,
Paralyzed without you.
Without a stop,
Without a start,
With an hour,
Paralyzed without you.
Without you,
Without me,
With that ends the us,
Paralyzed without you.
Without the sky,
Without the earth,
With the in between,
Paralyzed without you.
Without you,
What will I do,
Only with the memory,
Paralyzed without you.
Without you,
What will I do,
All I have is the memory,
Paralyzed without you.

song

2011-10-28T14:55:00.000+05:30

Hey you,

It’s amazing how a song can make you feel so much. So many sounds, so many smells just come surging back. It has not been easy. These days. These moments. These memories. These questions. And it isn’t just one question. It is so many. How does one over come something that tears every cell in one’s body?

How do you just not feel anything? As if all is lost and the pieces left behind will never ever be part of that big puzzle it used be. Just pieces now. Broken. Spilt across the world. Across all the dreams and wishes. Life takes over. And I always say that. And the suffering will end. And the pain will become another personality. How do you survive the world without that light?

I have become safe. Risk isn’t a part of my dictionary anymore. How will I explain to my family? How will I be able to afford it? Will I be able to do it? Confidence, self reliance, independence, happiness, surety, safety, laughter, content…where are these words now? Where is that girl? I heard a song the other day. Which said the same thing, where is that girl, have you seen her lately?

Writing has become a task. And I don’t mean poetry. Even this. I know I have so much to say. But when I start to write it’s like lightening. So fast in my head. So whatever these fingers can grab, here..take it.

What if I fall and hurt myself
Would you know how to fix me?
What if I went and lost myself
Would you know where to find me?
If forgot who I am
Would you please remind me?
Oh, 'cause without you, things go hazy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-IabfCL_T8

These lines say a lot more than what I have tried to say.

Love, me

poerty for thought

2011-10-21T16:56:00.001+05:30

title: that feeling

suddenly i see that i have lost you,
or probably i have lost the idea of you,
and now you have nothing to say to me anymore,
you wonder how you would say anything,
how you would pack all the things you haven't said yet,
how to have a conversation again,
how to smile and nod at irrelevant information about my day.
when did it become about serious, relevant things,
didn't we always find things to laugh about,
talk about, tell each other our experiences with sex,
with love, with lust, with hate, with dreams,
and now, i long for a newsfeed,
a tinkle in my blackberry to notify an email,
but those things have become hope.
but you say you can’t say,
you say you're bursting with things to say,
but you haven't yet,
you don't, and suddenly i feel
you aren't near me anymore,
you don’t hear anymore,
and i don't hear you anymore.
and suddenly the ground under me has been
dragged away, and i didn’t even know,
and i am left with a hope,
but i am also left with confidence
that we can never fix this,
this black hole that 'we" are in,
the uncomfortable silences is all we have now,
...suddenly i see i have lost you.

ta-daa

2011-09-06T16:20:00.004+05:30

it has been a long time.
new job. new love. new heartache.

people who know me might just not agree with the heartache; but they will with the new love.
seems like i've fallen for, fallen flat on my face, had a short crush, a long infatuation, an ex lover, a new lover all packed up in one day. but that's the joke that has formed out of it all. it doesn't matter though, because i know i love love. and i don't think i want to change that. :)

so i love you.
do you know what i'm thinking when i kiss your lips?
do you know that i smile?
do you ever stop to think for once how my emotions function?

not a player. yet. i just fall for the moment i guess.

very random, yet here it is on the internet to be judged.

literally thoughts. someone asked me one day if i have a blog. when i said yes, i was asked if it is one of those sappy "my thoughts" type blog, where i'd open up up about literally anything. and i smiled and said, yes of course it is.

and if this rant of mine has made you think, feel, want, then that's all that matters.

take the plunge. you got one life. and when you meet someone that means a lot, someone you know can make you take the leap of faith, you'll know. until then, don't be afraid to fall for someone, but know what you want before you plunge into their lives. know what you feel for them/him/her :) and never hide it. we all look for the same thing at the end of the road. there may be no light there, but there sure will be someone you love waiting. and with the friends i have made along they way, i know i won't be alone...

“So many fail because they don't get started - they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin.”
W. Clement Stone
to all the people who took that first step, the rest is going to be easy. this is only the beginning

hello

2011-05-10T22:29:00.002+05:30

hello world.

so it has been a while.
so i found a lot of good music. made new friends. made new changes.
but the old ones remain the same. no change.
ah. what to do.

anyway. i need to move. soon.
and i remember writing here about not wanting to move last time.
but this time. it. is. desperation.

so people are turning older.
making decisions.
moving on. hopefully.
discovery also happened somewhere.

what is going on?
tell me a story.
something about your day?

did you see a cat?
a lizard?
some one sent you flowers?

ah. ok.
i will update more often. with thoughts.

see you soon.

Poetry for thought - and then - hello

2011-05-10T22:02:00.004+05:30

title: Comma

and i fall,
into your arms,
and into your lips,
sinking deeper,
smiling wider,
watching you,
watching you be shy,
watching you try,
slowly, sometimes slower,
your eyes twinkle ,
sometimes,
sometimes when i kiss you,
sometimes when i run my fingers across your skin,
and i see you smile,
i see you smile, surprised,
surprised at what you can be,
surprised what i can be around you,
simple. it is so simple,
there is no name,
there is no song,
there is no love,
there is company,
there is laugh,
there is conversation,
there is kisses,
there is silence, sometimes,
so what are you doing now,
dreaming a little?
being a little less shy?
"Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation,"
so can we kiss agian?
yes, of course.
i want to play you song,
before this is over,
before we have names,
tagging everything we do and say,
so now, i will play my guitar,
practice a little, sing a lot more,
and then...
ok so i will
blog about you,
talk to you,
watch you,
kiss you.
what else can i do?

10 May 2011

Poetry for Thought

2010-10-26T17:43:00.001+05:30

Title: Musically challenged.
Your eyes upon me, I feel like an ice cube in the sun.
The world seems unworthy when I am around you.
You make me feel like I am in a bubble with just you.
All the sounds are just a haze.
My knees go weak.
Time stands still.
I lose my ground.
Stop encouraging me.
Tell your eyes not to look at me.
The world seems never ending in your eyes.
Glittering with joy, inquisitive, leading me on.
Tell those lips not to smile at me.
We kiss and I want to fall apart into your arms.
Your breath, your lips, your tongue playing games with me.
My fingers yearn to undress you slowly, under a starry sky.
Time stops when our eyes meet.
Your gaze lingers on my skin when you walk away.
You make me want to serenade you,
But around you, I feel musically challenged.

poetry for thought

2010-06-23T14:08:00.002+05:30

title: inspiration..... ?

and then it starts again,
words don't find mediums,
kisses don't find lips,
hands don't touch.

head spins,
rains stop,
clarity is blurred,
inspiration..... ?

fly away,
swim away,
escape,
try. try.

still life,
photographs,
typing, typing,
where are the conversations?

i want a flood,
a hurricane maybe,
tempest as they used to say,
inspiration..... ?

boo. hoo.
its a standstill.

clarity, maybe,
and then life takes over..

you and me

2010-04-25T01:38:00.002+05:30

hey you,

how are you? its been a while..hope all is good at your end.
i miss you so very much. suddenly feel so very lost.
i never was as close as want/ed to be, yet i feel so very lost without you.
without your whispers, without you.

there was a hail storm today. and i thought of you, it was a purple sky at the storm's end.

how is she? and is he planning to be married soon?
are you.....?

i want to hug you. hold you for a while.
kiss your neck, your lips.

you are there and i am here.

have you heard this song? i can't stop playing it over and over again...
"and i can barely look at you, and every single time i do, i know that i can make it any where away from here"

do you ever think of me? am i just a moment that has already passed you by?

i miss you.
i really do.
"to think i might not see those eyes, makes it so hard not to cry, and as we say our long goodbyes, i nearly do"

i did. the day you said you were leaving i did. i did when u held me.
i did when you spoke to me, i do.. i sometimes still do..

i do miss you. i know i have already said it. but saying it over and over might make you listen...maybe.

do you even listen to me? most of the time i am just a background score.
just a passing moment.

i wish you could see the night sky from my window.
its purple sometimes.. your favourite colour.

love,
me

new, maybe

2010-03-31T16:20:00.003+05:30

heart break season it seems to be.
it rains. drizzles. green.
clock ticks.
time stops.
the room stays still.
looks the same, smells the same.
yet everything is different.
not new, but different.
feels like the blood from the body is slowly being drained.
drained.
mind slips away.
another day, not new, but different.
its all the same, but the heart feels heavier.
forgotten the way out.
just a routine, just a moment, just..

you and me.
me and you.
what do we do?

burn

2009-12-12T12:44:00.000+05:30

burn my skin,
burn my hair,
burn through my clothes,
and do it again.

atleast

2009-11-23T14:57:00.003+05:30

i atleast know you

i have your phone number

i know where you live

i know where you work
i know your smiles
i know your tears
i know your email id
i know its real and not fake
i know that there's a warm-fuzzy feeling at the bottom of my heart when you call me
i know you'll put me to sleep with silly stories
i know you'll cuddle me when i am in pain
i know you'll be there, just a phone call away,
but for how long can i hold you on that string?
i know you don't want to leave
i know i don't want to leave

i know who hates you
i know i love you
i know you love me
i know.. or maybe not :)

..

2009-11-12T12:07:00.000+05:30

empty.

ctrl + P

:)

2009-11-12T11:58:00.000+05:30

swish.
slosh.
plunk.
shhhhhhhhh.
dunk.
splash.
shhhhhhh.

i am back

2009-11-03T15:35:00.003+05:30

rain again.

reminds me of a time when we were so free that riding half way around the city in thunder storms were the best thing that happened to us.

of when pakodas and chai were the only meal on a rainy day. sometimes just a cigarette and laughter.

we just sat around those days. nothing tangible to talk about. nothing to do. just sit around and talk to each other about something, anything.

and now, looking back, those were the best days.

-------

it rains today. life has changed so much.

-------

oh how i is loving the rain :)

-------

"i'm siiiinging in the rain"

-------

time goes by. seconds slow down. music plays throughout.

-------

pitter patter of rain in my ear and i just want to sit around and do nothing. i want to relive a few seconds from a different time.

-------

bangalore, i love you. :)

-------

welcome.

i am sorry i have not been updating the blog. if you are waiting, i am back.

-------

message in a tissue

2009-07-06T11:13:00.002+05:30

My status msg: TALK random; the outcome

2009-07-01T16:53:00.004+05:30

July 01, 2009
Wednesday

BB: ???????
talk?
random?

me: ya, no one s talking
so something random also would be nice
:)

BB: to you?
wat makes u say tat?

me: i mean, everyone is silent
just generally
everyone needs some random talk once in a hwile

BB: okay
go ahead
start

me: so did u see the colour of the sky today?

BB: yes
i love the blue
as a child
i used to think
if i could flip it
and then dive into it

me: wow
that would a good plan
then the clouds would be the fishes and the stars would be??

BB: flowers
yellow ones

me: oh, yes yes
so we need some birds also..
the sunlight

BB: sun light would be like tat one foot lonely paths
me: ohhh yes yes

BB: just wen you wanted to take a lonely walk

me: ehhh wait wait

BB: okay

me: it would be a lonely swim in the flipped sky with the cloud fishes and star flowers
:)

BB: oh yea
those rocky bottoms with caves
those are the sun lights

me: ohhh
yes yes
and the rain is?

BB: music
just keep you ears close to the top layer

me: ahhh, yes i agree
what will we do for food?
and sleep?
:P

BB: it will be air for food
and sleeps
we will float

me: hmm
nice
i like this place already
so when do we go?

BB: today
we our eyes are droopy
wen mind go blank
wen you need fantacy to fake talk
tats the day
tats the minute

me: good, ill pack some swim wear
(and putting this chat up on my blog)

BB: he he he
you could
i am gonna be wearing
my denim and white shirt

me: ohh yes yes
but u see i cant swim
so i am gonna wear swim wear
cos in the sky i can swim :)

BB: here all can swim
you feel light
you feel elevated
never drown
cause you don't dream there

me: yea, so only i have to wear swim wear :) otherwise when will i get the chance to wear it?

BB: only the weight of dreams can drown you
anything is good here
so

me: :) good
now we have a plan

BB: yes
a pla in the blues
*plan
blue is a promise
a promise
of the day

me: and the fishes and the flowers and the caves and the food and the bed

BB: yes
so i'm gonna call
it the food
air roast

me: and the bed- hope floats

BB: yes
nothing or none can pull you down
everything floats
music makes all out there beautiful with a lil blush
a pink on the cheek

me: and a smile to wrinkle the cheeks :)

BB: yes
high spirited
light hearted
painess
*painless
you will forget how to cry

me: and no questions to answer

BB: yes
just chase you desire/ heart
no check posts
no mirrirs
*mirrors

me: no traffic :P

BB: you don see your reflection
you don judge yourself
truth is the moment

me: and the sky is the water

BB: and the tree are the shadows
suspended
upside down
*trees

me: the trees are the sky now

BB: yes
probably they are clouds in the new sky
brb

9 minutes

me: http://pridenoprejudice.blogspot.com/ listen to the song called blue

6 minutes

BB: okay
listen to rains
so how did ya like your random conversation?

me: WAS GOOD :)
thanks

BB: he he he
anytime
i'm a dreamer

me: we all are at some point
:)

BB: bye
meant off from chat

me: haha
yes yes
tata

BB: tatas

47 minutes later, words were formed

BB: http://basilspoetry.wordpress.com/

me: nice
:)

3ww: Fickle, Sparkle, Wrinkle

2009-07-01T12:14:00.003+05:30

the closer i get you, the more fickle does my mind get,
the door to you is half open,
i want to stop nudging when i am near you,
yet, i want to force open the door to your heart.
you keep me yearning, yet wanting to let go,
your skin, your inviting eyes, doesn't let me stop,
i want more of the sparkle in your soul,
more of your smile, more of your voice.
i am filled with thoughts of you,
of wanting you closer,
closer still, so i can kiss the wrinkle your eyes form when you smile,
closer still, so you can hear my heart racing for you.

come closer.....closer still...this game is getting old..

thoughts

2009-05-18T17:44:00.002+05:30

smell of stale cigarettes,
a tooth ache that kills,
puddles of water at my feet,
clouds moving slowly,
every colour seems brighter,
even black.

birds drying their feathers,
unrecorded thoughts,
slow breathes, deep breathes,
tooth ache still alive,
sounds of water exiting a building,
the after glow of rain,
stillness of trees,
echos of silence.

i am thinking of secrets,
of whispers in someone's ear,
of kisses in between,
of a smile and the successive blush.
....a pause to remember,
to feel the rain,
a kiss to remember, a touch to cherish.
sounds to hear,
music to make,
sights that could bring tears.
rain brings joy,
it brings everything.

rain. bliss.

-18 may 09

Poetry for thought

2009-04-14T16:59:00.003+05:30

title: ((untitled))

he dug through the air between his fingers and my shoulder,
pulled out the agony and drowned it into a mug of salt water.
the pain peaked while he did this act,
"thirty times more" he said.
i moaned a little, the pain was at its peak again,
he continued to dig, and drown.
i asked him to stop, when i felt the pain had lost its intensity,
the pain existed nonetheless.
i put my head on the pillow,
while he continued the process from a few feet away.
sleep consumed,
dreams took over, poetry was formed.

-14/04/09

maddening silence

2009-04-01T17:19:00.003+05:30

silence.

how can one want 2 people at the same time?

silence.

what to do?

silence.

its amazing how we can feel by just thinking of a person. and its harder still when we experience 2 completely different and amazing emotions caused by 2 very different people.

silence.

its harder still when we can't do much for any of the emotions felt. when the other people's lives are entangled with other people's lives, we are left wondering which one to choose, which one to approach, which one to show the courage that has been built up over the time...more over which one to be madly in love with.

silence.

its harder still not to know what to do...

silence.

its harder still to stop thinking of them, each one individually.

silence.

its harder still to stop talking about these emotions. especially when these emotions are the ones that elate us to a height we haven't soared to in a while. especially when we know that there is a REMOTE chance for this or that to work. however small the chances might be, its harder to stop hope from floating.

silence.

its harder still to move on. to ignore these emotions!

silence.
.
.
.

psy-ko/bizzare

2009-03-31T17:51:00.004+05:30

things to do when you are in a psy-ko-tic/bizzare mood:

*stare at facebook, gtalk, gmail, orkut, twitter etc.

*go through wall posts that are a year older than today's date

*write on people's walls who are just a phone call away

*write loser on these people's walls

*write irrelevant things on people's walls

*chat with person sitting next to you, on gtalk

*change status messages on facebook and gtalk

*bring the BAR to bar-ista

*try chatting in funny accents with people, of course it makes no difference considering someone is reading them and not listening to you, but do it nonetheless

*hyphenate words for no reason whatsoever

*hyphenate words for dramatic teenage tone and pause implications

*apostrophe words for no reason whatsoever

*apostrophe words for dramatic pronounciation implications

*apostrophe OR hyphenate words for dramatic accent implications

*wake up early and do nothing

*google search bizzare, you will be amazed with the search results, or not

*google search psy-ko-tic, you will be amazed with the search results, or not

*don't click on any of the results of the above searches

*talk to yourself, really loudly

*laugh. just laugh my ma'n!

*play the piano, an imaginary one

*sing "i'm co-lour blind, i jhust caaan't deny zis pheelinggg"

*sing other songs with thick indian accents

*ask the auto driver if you can drive. if he says no, ask him again. if you still receive a no as an answer, get off and don't pay the ma'n!

*just be bizzare

*just be psy-ko-tic

*

*

*

*

*

sunday scribblings: i come from

2009-03-25T11:38:00.002+05:30

i see the earth so clearly now,
the winds carry my soul to her,
the clouds bursting with joy,
enveloping the silence in.
the rush of the wind seeps through,
the soul of the clouds swallow the silver lining,
the earth sprouts new life,
the trees sway in joy.
smiles everywhere,
laughter and joy aloud,
love is in the air,
and i soar above it all.
seconds go by like minutes,
clouds are impatient,
the winds play a while,
the sky is almost black.
i take my time to reach the beginning,
i watch and smile to myself,
the winds, the clouds, the earth,
they wait for my rein.
i kiss the sky hello,
i caress the wind,
the clouds let go,
sweet kisses i rain on the earth.
the winds speed,
the clouds laugh,
the earth slips into my world,
i am the rain.

i am the rain,
i come from the heavens,
i rain on you,
and i will never stop.

i bring joy, i bring tears,
i bring the storm,
and i bring the calm,
i am the rain, i come from the heavens.

i am the rain,
this moment you will never forget,
when elements join hands,
when everything spills emotions unknown.

i am the rain,
i come to you and drag you to me,
the time is here, for us to be together,
for us to make love, for our souls to be one.

i am the rain,
i bring heaven to you.

-Prompted by: Sunday Scribblings

its time

2009-03-09T17:09:00.002+05:30

the summer is taking a break today. cloudy skies envelope our little world.

the winds carry songs and laughter. the rain is coming. a little surprise for our heated bodies.
a well appreciated surprise. who cares what tomorrow is going to feel like.

today it will rain. if not, these winds and clouds soothe the heart.

i love the rains and all that it brings along!

"come into my arms,
let me hold you for eternity.
drops, drops, drops......come,
its time....i have missed you."

more life

2009-03-06T13:09:00.002+05:30

conversations can lead to so many places. so many streets, so many towns and so many thoughts.
friendships have been lost. memories survive. and that hurts more. the memories have a full stop now. no new paragraphs to be formed, no new commas to be added.

i am left in my room, contemplating, wondering where did it all go wrong. why didn't we fix it. in moments of breakdown the decisions we make seem apt. right. and now, it seems all wrong and worthless. maybe.

relationships fuel us. our hopes, our dislikes, our love, our hate, our whole self.
i wouldn't know what to do without them.
dysfunctional or otherwise, we need them. addictive or not we need them.

now, i can hear myself saying...those were the days.
when life seemed a little easier due to the people. now, its different.
new lives, new people, new emotions, new hope, new friendships, new love, new hate. but never the same.

life

2009-03-03T12:10:00.003+05:30

relationships are complicated. romantic or otherwise.
we strive hard to keep them alive. new places to meet. remember the old places. talk for hours. be silent for longer.

i have had the best people to have come into my life. smart, talented, loving, caring, harsh when needed, opinionated. but, they still made/make an impact on my everyday life. many have been lost over the years. more forgotten. many more who have grown. many more i can't recognize anymore!

we all grew up, grew apart, grew closer. we will continue this rhyme for many years to come.

weddings to be planned, children to be welcomed. smiles, tears and much more to be done.

there are however some relationships, that become an addiction. you think you have let go, but u haven't. the real moment of letting go actually happens much later than the actual incident. and when you think you have let go, the other person hasn't. this is the thread that keeps the relationship going. suddenly, the moment comes when he/she decides to let go. just a small decision can change everything. and you realize that you never really let go, you held on to the other person's inability to let go. now, both of us are back to fighting emotions, logic and many more things to survive. to let go.

we all let go, of everyone, everything. some day we have to. but the beauty of human life is, we will never forget. never forget how we felt in those moments. how that laughter sounded. how that first kiss felt. how our cigarettes burned out while we were busy talking. we will never forget. we haven't forgotten. as time goes by, we will remember the tiny details, the colour of the sky, the coffee, the road, the rains. and we will smile, and say "those were the days my friend".

i can't wait to meet new people, make new friends, new romances. just to relive all the emotions, to survive. to love, to live.

sunday scribblings: trust

2009-02-20T17:49:00.004+05:30

Title: rewind

the piano plays,
our hands touch.
the ocean softens,
the symphony of sounds is beautiful.
our fingers seep through the sand,
our toes step into the sea.
our lips touch,
its magic.
our hands touch,
rough with sand morsels.
we kiss, can't stop now,
my anklets sing.
the cool water is upto our knees now,
too far from the sand.
we fall, free fall into the water,
our hands still together, our lips too.
underwater, a little deeper,
our hands still together, our lips too.
we sway with the water,
our hands still together, our lips too.
our feet tangled around each other,
our hands still together, our lips too.

i let go, i stop,
that's enough.
i stand up, with water almost to my neck,
i pull closer to the ear, our fingers touch.
"i don't trust you," i say,
i walk away.
sand at my feet,
water trickles down my neck.
our hands still together, our lips too,
but its just a dream, and the piano plays on.

--Prompted by: http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/2009/02/151-trust.html

trafiic signal

2009-02-20T17:38:00.005+05:30

usually people are off even before the traffic light can go yellow. this is how it is here, especially when the route is a regular one, we know when its time to start moving.

however, today the mad rush/battle was slowed down. our ever lazy traffic cop was busy advising a beggar lady. i was too far away to hear what the man was saying, but i did watch him and he made hand signs depicting eating, and pointing to a direction to my right. i assume he was saying go there and they will give you food. the lady stood there, hands folded, begging him to let her beg!
our man, doesn't let her move, and when she tries to escape his worthy advice, he jumps across and doesn't let her move!! the front section of motorists, including me were giggling away to glory, while i saw a bike zip past me on my right, i look up, the light is green. that was the first time i have seen traffic move promptly at a green light! i glance towards my left to see the beggar run for her life, while the cop is screaming after her. he begins walking across the road, while mumbling to himself!

poetry for thought: first poem for 09

2009-01-19T17:20:00.002+05:30

title: so soft and exciting

jack in my ears,
songs so soft and perfect.
chaos in the mind,
so soft and thoughtless.
tears in my eyes,
so soft and waiting.
love in my soul,
so soft and screaming.
craving in my words,
so soft and loud.
sleep in my fingers,
so soft and short of words.
dreams in my feet,
so soft and inaccessible.
kisses on my toes,
so soft and dreamy.
lies in conversations,
so soft and deceiving.
death in poetry,
so soft and compelling.
death in memories,
so soft and nauseating.
death in photographs,
so soft and tearful.
death in reality,
so soft and agonizing.
death, death, death,
so real, yet unreal.

-19th Jan 2009

THE FUTURE LIFE

2009-01-16T12:37:00.002+05:30

by: William Cullen Bryant (1794-1878)

OW shall I know thee in the sphere which keeps
The disembodied spirits of the dead,
When all of thee that time could wither sleeps
And perishes among the dust we tread?

For I shall feel the sting of ceaseless pain
If there I meet thy gentle presence not;
Nor hear the voice I love, nor read again
In thy serenest eyes the tender thought.

Will not thy own meek heart demand me there?
That heart whose fondest throbs to me were given --
My name on earth was ever in thy prayer,
And wilt thou never utter it in heaven?

In meadows fanned by heaven's life-breathing wind,
In the resplendence of that glorious sphere,
And larger movements of the unfettered mind,
Wilt thou forget the love that joined us here?

The love that lived through all the stormy past,
And meekly with my harsher nature bore,
And deeper grew, and tenderer to the last,
Shall it expire with life, and be no more?

A happier lot than mine, and larger light,
Await thee there, for thou hast bowed thy will
In cheerful homage to the rule of right,
And lovest all, and renderest good for ill.

For me, the sordid cares in which I dwell
Shrink and consume my heart as heat the scroll;
And wrath has left its scar--that fire of hell
Has left its frightful scar upon my soul.

Yet, though thou wear'st the glory of the sky,
Wilt thou not keep the same belovèd name,
The same fair thoughtful brow, and gentle eye,
Lovelier in heaven's sweet climate, yet the same?

Shalt thou not teach me, in that calmer home,
The wisdom that I learned so ill in this--
The wisdom which is love--till I become
Thy fit companion in that land of bliss?

2009-01-05T17:01:00.001+05:30

its all gone.
all hopes, everything is gone.
back to basics as they say...

3ww: Hesitate, Jealous, Neglect

2008-12-22T16:32:00.003+05:30

come closer, i need to whisper,
come on, don't be shy,
don't hesitate.

there's a blue sky above,
the wind cools our senses.
its kisses and caresses our little world,
yes, we are little..all of us.

we neglect necessity,
we fight, we love, we care, we don't,
we think we are better,
we think we are greater.
but we are little, and these are unnecessary emotions.
too many sordid deeds have been committed,
too many tears shed. enough is enough.

and someday we will be jealous,
you will be jealous, i will be jealous,
of the world we imagined,
of an imaginary community,
of an imaginary life.
mark my words,
we will be left with imagination and we will be jealous,
of not having it in reality.
it is meant to happen..

Prompted by 3ww

3ww: Blush, Quiver, Tenderness

2008-11-19T12:40:00.003+05:30

"we fade, we form.

our eyes meet, my soul trembles.

our lips meet, my eyes scream.

your tenderness keeps me wanting more.

my hands shake and quiver.

my heart skips a beat.

i breathe, i breathe you into me.

keep me there a little longer.

i wish i was there a lifetime longer.

kiss me again, let me in again, let me breathe you in again."

this is all a dream...i wake up..i breathe..i blush..

i fall back into my bed...wishing i'd go back there..

i breathe, i blush..

Promted by 3ww

sunday scribblings: stranger

2008-11-18T13:34:00.006+05:30

Come one pm and he walks into the café. Today, she arrived before him; usually he is sitting and watching the afternoon fly by. Both of them had the same look on their faces. Both faces tired and sad, looking out into the empty streets and silence raged between them. They were always silent with each other, talking was kept to a minimal. Maybe they spoke of their work; maybe of things they did, holidays they took or people they met. But mostly they were silent. He smiled at me today. Maybe the daily dose of my face being the only one at the café was the cause for that smile. His eyes shimmered a happy look when he smiled at me, while she stood outside with her cigarette. Maybe she was waiting for him. But I had seen both of them alone on many occasions, so maybe she wasn’t waiting for him (I am very unsure). I watched her take a few long, hard puffs off her cigarette, while she stood outside, before he came. She is beautiful, her sadness is captivating. I wonder though, if its sadness I see or weariness. Sometimes tired eyes can fake sadness. Both their worlds merge in the afternoons they spend in silence, or sometimes words or sometimes laughs. They merge, their souls merge. It is a beautiful sight, a glimpse into 2 strangers' lives.

http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/2008/11/137-stranger.html

BORED

2008-11-18T12:46:00.003+05:30

i am horribly bored.

bored

the worse part about being bored is that there's no mood to do anything else. book is interesting, i can't read past a paragraph. i am bored. horribly, terribly bored.

hope you are well, and NOT bored!

update

2008-11-06T10:52:00.004+05:30

updates have been slow. considering i am in detention at office, opening any blog page seems an utter waste.

i learnt a new game in time i was away, thanks to ben and aj for teaching us and smita for taking me along.
name of game: unknown, however, ben and aj call it 5, 10, 15, 20. which is literally the whole game in the name. fun times.

i was a s*'s "little lamb" for yesterday. thanks to lu, we now know a place where smoking is as legal as it can be. thanks lu.

its all a stand still.
the longest pause on a song you have never heard, eager to hear, but it has been paused.
pause, pause, pause...

musically torn,
mentally drained,
physically useless,
i have successfully lost myself in all the mess.

my room is no more my life. this new room doesn't console or council me anymore.
sleepless, sleepless and disturbed.

but, if you ask me what's wrong, i can't give you an answer.
i just can't. there is nothing monumentally going wrong in my life at all.
nothing is happening.

maybe that's the problem.

dreams surface, soar and die in minutes.

"....this too shall pass..", hopefully.

thanks to all the people who are still around. thanks for laughing, talking, being silent, dancing, drinking, smiling :)

these are the people who have kept me going, in their own little ways. thank you for that :)

Invictus - william ernest henley

2008-10-14T14:03:00.000+05:30

HERE

Rudyard Kipling

2008-10-13T13:38:00.000+05:30

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

its been a while

2008-10-09T18:26:00.003+05:30

life stands still,
lights go by slowly,
the wind rushes through my hair,
tears seep through my skin.
faces tear me apart,
no smiles to smile,
no words to speak,
its all a blur.
stuck like an old record,
not moving,
just stuck,
time stops.

tick. tick. ti

it all stops..

blog blog blog

2008-09-30T10:29:00.000+05:30

2008-09-29T19:40:00.000+05:30

Everything is passing me by, like speeding bullets that I wish would hit me. Atleast then there would have been an event to look forward to. If not, atleast an eventful end to the slow, routinal life.

Sleep was never so necessary.
Laziness was never such a possibility.

Sunday Scribblings: Invitation

2008-09-19T18:44:00.002+05:30

Join us

her eyes met mine,
glimmering sadness echoed.
she sipped her coffee,
and slipped away slowly.
i was searching for a sign,
a sign that would assure me her smile.
she seemed too far to return,
too sad to speak.
time ticked by, slowly,
the wind gushed through her hair.
silence had become a part of the conversation,
her eyes were broken like her heart.
lost love, lost life,
my thoughts merged with hers.
as we rose to leave,
she held out her hand.
like an invitation into her world,
i put my hand in hers and invited her to mine.
we walked away into a routinal life,
with hopes of undoing this pain.
we are hopeful still,
join us..

-me

will's words

2008-09-09T12:53:00.002+05:30

here

music

2008-09-09T12:04:00.002+05:30

shar bear included me in her new blog, Treble Notes, i am truly honoured i must say :)
thanku shar bear!

the blog is about music, that's the simple explanation.
shar has a very nice way of putting forth the concept:
"I have a new blog!!
I realized that i was writing more and more about songs that i liked on this blog. And its enough to make another blog about exclusively. That one i will update weekly most probably. Pop by and check it out! I promise it'll be worth it and you may find some pretty good music!
The link is www.pridenoprejudice.blogspot.com"

drop by and you can find atleast one song to suit your ears :)

day of randomness

2008-08-28T16:41:00.002+05:30

"tangled dreams,
submerged souls,
kissing rains and soaring skies."

its been raining a lot lately. lullaby for my ears while i begin the night.
she puts me to sleep, keeps me awake.

purple haze, green haze, yellow haze,
colours everywhere. confusion too.

inks of colours,
inks of dreams,
inks of kisses,
inks of love,
inks of music.

colours. colours. colours.
music. music. music.
rain. rain. rain.

i emerge and submerge,
we drown and survive,
swim towards the sky,
dance to the rain.

fishes talk,
leaves sing,
walls become friends.

tears. tears. tears...
my soul cries and wails.

words don't find a medium today,
yesterday, maybe even tomorrow.

untangle me....

songs that take you back in time

2008-08-06T22:49:00.002+05:30

Sail Away-David Gray

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Crazy skies all wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Oh all the times Ive tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Ive been talking drunken gibberish
Falling in and out of bars
Trying to find some explanation here
For the way some people are
How did it ever come so far

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now
Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Sunday Scribblings: Do I have to?

2008-08-05T11:36:00.005+05:30

do i have to be here?
do i have to be alone?
of course not, i could choose otherwise. we would all choose otherwise.
and that's what i try to do everyday, to choose otherwise.

do i have to call her?
do i have to call him?

not really, but i do. because i choose otherwise.

i made a fool of myself the other day, do i have to be upset? :) i was for sometime, now it really doesn't matter.

do i have to kiss you?
do i have to love you?
do i have to miss you?
do i have to want you, need you?

of course i do..

Jean-Luc Godard - "To be or not to be. That's not really a question."

Sunday Scibblings: Solace

2008-07-26T12:55:00.003+05:30

"To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry,
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do", Snow Patrol, Run
----------------------------
need closure, need solace.
need you to be near,
need us to be.

what is it that holds us together?
come into my arms,
maybe this would be that solace you seek.
and maybe i'll be one with your soul,
for mine is weak.
-----------------------------------------
i need your strength,
i need your hope,
i need your happiness,
sprinkle some of those on me.
--------------------------------------------------------
console me,
look at me and say it will all be fine
make me feel safe,
kiss me and tell me that you will be back.

these are just words,
you are gone.
never to return.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

moving and the rain affair

2008-07-25T13:53:00.003+05:30

i woke up to the most beautiful weather that bangalore can offer.
its the monsoons again, and i am loving it!

i woke up to the pitter patter of rain and realized that i love my room too much. i have spent a good 8 years of my life here, the part which i actually remember. new new things in the room since the first year, but the room has been my shrine.

the view is absolutely amazing and i could have night or day by just moving the curtains. however, i did loose that advantage a year or so ago, due to termite (or they could have been aliens) attack (and my rage that those b*&%#@$s were there; so i broke the wood thingy holding the curtain and left it in my back yard). these termites made a noise, a really loud noise that kept me awake on most nights, so that explains the rage.

it is so sad that i will be moving, i will miss my shrine. my room.

rain is the best weather in the world. makes me exceptionally happy. and content. and dreamy. and in love. most of all in love with that sound, that feeling of drops on my skin. just in love with the rain.

however, i would like to be outside, wasting time, dreaming and smiling to myself instead of being at work. but that, like you can see, has not happened yet. i am at work, typing into my blog (which is also better than work, so i am smiling).

i don't want to move. i mean i want to have my own place and all, of course i do. but if i ever go to visit family i want it to be this house, not the one i have to move to now.

i have had my secret affairs with the rain in this house, when all were asleep. i will miss sneaking up to the terrace and stealing a few dances and kisses from the sky.

how i wish time would stop; not go back, but just stop. i wouldn't mind typing this over and over again.

Sunday Scibblings: VISION

2008-07-01T18:29:00.002+05:30

There she lay, on the cold floor, with her eyes torn. Her body screamed a silent sigh.
Her lips chapped from the dehydration of crying for 2 days.
Her eyes gazed outside the window, a stare that could shake the demons of hell. Her body barely moved, except the practiced breathing.

I stayed by her side, through the grieving. I did not know how to console her soul, I just stayed there; nearby, if ever she needed me or a listening ear.

She began sobbing again, she didn't have the energy to cry. But the dreaded sadness wouldn't allow silence, tears streamed down. I ran my fingers thought her hair, trying to calm her down. It didn't work, it never did. But this time she pulled my hand close to her heart, held it with all her might and sobbed.

We stayed there like that for hours, when finally she fell asleep. I couldn't bear to wake her with the movement of my hand. I lay there beside her, stroking her hair, eventually falling asleep.

We were woken up by a loud sound from outside. We saw the most beautiful sight outside the window, the whole sky was lit up in colours that we see in our dreams. The stars played along and sparkled; like a smiling child.
A vision that is hard to describe, but even harder to forget.

Purple skies all around, blanketing our lost and drained souls. She smiled, she smiled a smile that was priceless. A smile that you would form when you see your child for the first time, a smile that would make any bitter man joyous.

Suddenly it disappeared, the sky was black again, yet it seemed so fresh and enthralling.
She looked into my eyes, pulled me closer and whispered "That was my baby. She coloured the sky, she wants me to smile for her. She's happy. She's happy.."

My darling friend is now happy and recalls this day, this vision every time her heart sinks an inch.

note

2008-07-01T18:20:00.002+05:30

do you notice when people don't say mom or dad in their sentences?
and just say him or her..its hard to notice it, because we assume they have said it in the beginning of their sentence or are just answering your question.

just a thought..
notice it, it usually means something.

thoughts

2008-06-30T12:29:00.002+05:30

it burns,
it scars,
it loves,
it hurts,
it screams,
i dream,
lets merge,
be one,
talk to me again,
and i'll soar,
be real again,
and i'll smile,
be real again,
exist,
feels like forever since you left,
agony without you,
when will you return?
when will i smile?
when will i soar?
when will you return???

Here and There

2008-06-28T00:33:00.005+05:30

i just felt like i needed another blog, to write more..with different colours..
so click here if you feel like reading.

also planning to start following the sunday scribble as well..

new beginnings... :)

"start something new"

Poetry For Thought

2008-06-25T12:38:00.002+05:30

Title: ((untitled))

Slow, the air seeps through my window,
Urging me to stay, stay in that moment,
I try to fall into Sandman's ruse,
Trying to keep in mind that I will be awake the next day.
I don't want to wake,
The slumber seems much more comforting,
The dark sleepy haze feels warm,
Slow, its all so slow and united.
She calls, to wake me,
Her electronic voice tries to force my eyes open,
"20 more minutes," I crackle,
She hangs up, I fall back into my darkness.
Dreaming of better days, of life,
Of you, of me, of us, of them,
Of never waking up,
She calls again, I am forced to open my eyes.
I hang up, I am awake,
I am back to the real world now,
The emptiness has deepened,
Everyday it climbs up, higher.
My eyes are heavy,
Heavy and filled with tears,
I cried, I woke up and cried,
I feel like a child, I need to grow up.
I woke up and cried,
Cried for you, me and them,
Every part of me screamed and wailed,
But the sound disappeared into the emptiness.
The sound disappeared into the emptiness,
I will remain searching,
And we will all remain in between,
The stakes will be raised, its going to get harder.

But some things and some people will stay longer,
She will call every morning,
The one thing I look forward to, her electronic voice forcing me to wake,
Even though, someday she'll be gone too..

~25th June 2008
12:53pm

Do we want to grow up??

2008-06-19T10:38:00.002+05:30

feels like a part of me is dying,
the whole of me is fading.
the wind, silently brushes past me,
watching me, watching my soul disappear.
she holds my hand, he smiles at me,
yet, it feels like a part of me is dying.

feels like a part of me is dying,
the whole of me is fading..

2008-06-17T13:02:00.003+05:30

I wonder what goes through people's minds who are going to kill themselves in the next few minutes; other than the obvious want and need to die and of death finally surrounding their souls.

What happens to the clothes, the room they called home on most days?
Do they worry about the secrets, that locked drawer or cupboard could reveal?
Or do they plan it so carefully that these are carefully disposed and forgotten?

The sheets on the bed, the books, pens, the dust in the room.
What will happen to the room? Will it be kept intact in memory of the dead, dust filled, empty room? Or used, changed and manipulated to suit the needs of the time?

Do they wonder? Do they think of all the things they would miss after that breathe has passed? Do they feel the pain of their loved ones in those last few moments?

What goes on?

"Do they regret the decision in afterlife?" (Alice)

What really goes on behind all that jazz, during the moments of dying....??

For all those who have left, may you rest in peace...hope that your world is much better than the ones we are surrounded by.

2008-06-14T12:15:00.000+05:30

The times have changed and the moments have passed.
Do you care anymore? Or have i pushed the envelope too far?

Lonely and worried.
Suffering yet comfortable.
Confusion...emotional confusion.
Unstable...

Where is everyone?
Where are you??

Lonesome dreams, weary dreams, blurry images and I can't go on............

Blog Tag Game 2

2008-06-13T16:59:00.002+05:30

3 Joys:
~of being in the rain, near the rain, hearing the rain, dreaming the rain, just RAIN
~falling asleep, peacefully, in a comfortable bed
~laughter and tears of a relationship, any kind
adding one more: meeting strange and new and interesting people, with the same intension of the before said.

3 Fears:
~COCKROACHES and other ikkcy worms
~nightmares that could possibly come true
~losing control

3 Goals:
~writing a book, someday
~"travel the world and live more simply", Dido, sand in my shoes
~own a successful business which would also give back to the world somehow, packed with a comfortable, simple and worry free lifestyle

3 Current Obsessions/Collections
~Getting everything organized, EVERYTHING
~Time and money Management
~Phone, my new phone :)

3 Random Surprising Facts:
~I have no social life
~My bro is very good at reading minds and going through my stuff
~some people are cute and some people are irritatingly cute

Tagging: Romal, Sarah Q, Disco, him, manoj and shar for luck

The rain affair

2008-05-28T14:18:00.003+05:30

Its raining storm here, in Bangalore!
Hail storm, droplets of solid ice; a sight to remember!

We stayed on the roof, until it started to pour, dragging and cherishing on the last taste of a rainless sky. I smiled, picked up some ice, tried taking a picture.

Its windy outside, raining like crazy, I can hear the ice slap against everything in its way. Its loud and soothing...Stormy weather is here to stay!

Phone calls are unattended, the lines are down. My cell phone keeps ringing.

All I can think of right now is how much I am in love, in love with the rain, any kind of rain.
Of how much this makes me happy and satisfied, of how much my body and soul craves for this, of how much this leaves me wanting more, wanting for much more!

This is the love affiar I will always have, always keep.
The rain and me will last forever. This love will never seize to exist.
The scent, the touch, the fever, will always seem like the first kiss.

The rain will always leave me wanting for more, waiting for more, dreaming for more and screaming for more!

Thank you Sky, thank you rain, for loving me and letting me love you!

Thousand Kisses and More,
ME

Blog Tag Game 1

2008-05-20T11:24:00.006+05:30

Last movie seen in a theatre:
hmmm..so the correct answer would be- Horton Hears a Who, really good movie! please watch

What book are you reading?
nothing at the moment! just finished almost single, nice one

Favourite board game:
hmmmm hmmmmmm chess i think...

Favourite magazine:
do blogs count??

Favourite smells:
petrol, books (old and new), new clothes, the rain, the seaside, the smell of food being cooked...a lot more

Favourite sound;
music, laughter, wind, rain, thunder and and and ...

Worst feeling in the world:
when you dont know something you are supposed to know, when you feel like you arent good enough and when people you care about leave...and there are sooo many more....

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Hmm..how late am i today?!

Favourite fast food place:
shanthi sagar

Future child’s name:
:P i think everyone knows the answer to this! :P five daugters and i
ahve four names...not telling them though, YOU might steal them from me!!

Finish this statement: “If I had a lot of money I’d…”
have a lot of moneeeeeey

Do you drive fast?
of course, have you been on bangalore roads?!

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
No, i am allergic!

Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
brocco what?!

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice?
purple, i dream, i dream big

Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:
bangalore....hmm..bangalore...does goa and gokarna count?

Favourite sports to watch:
football!! the english football, not the stupid american version

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you:
she's funny

What’s under your bed?
the floor, truly indian, i dont have a cot!

Would you like to be born as yourself again?
ofcourse!

Morning person or night owl?
hmmmmmm...both..

Over easy or sunny side up?
is this supposed to be an omlete question?? then, i am vegetarian, and i dont eat eggs

Favourite place to relax:
my room (copied shar's answer!)

Favourite ice cream flavour:
anything but vanilla :P

You pass this tag to Romal, disco, sarah Q, him, manoj,
shar (for luck)

Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
nobody! no one reads my blog! anyway, i shall ask romal, disco and sarah to check. he is out of town, and manoj has a blog just to be cool.

"Ok so what you guys have to do is copy this tag game, paste, link the person who tagged you (me!) and choose five more people to tag and link them.
Go on, its not that difficult! You can do it! Fly forth my children! Fly forth!"

cant speak

2008-05-17T12:41:00.005+05:30

this is the only way i can say what i am thinking at the moment:

"I Can't Read You"-Daniel Bedingfield

I'm never shy but this is different
I can't explain the way I'm feeling tonight
I'm losing control of my heart
Tell me what can I do to make you happy
Nothing I ever say seems to come out right
I'm losing control of my heart

And I wish that I could be
Another better part of me
Can't hear what your thinking
Maybe if I just let go
you'd open up your heart

But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind
No no no no no
No no no no no

I like you so much I'm acting stupid
I can't play the game I'm all intense and alive
I'm losing control of my heart
I'm not supposed to be this nervous
I should play my hand all cool and calm
I can't breathe
I'm losing control of my heart

And I wish that I could see
The other better parts of me
Feel this fire I'm feeling
Then you'd see me in control
And baby then you'd know

But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind
No no no no no

2008-05-13T11:52:00.001+05:30

"To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do" Run, Snow Patrol

2008-05-08T15:24:00.003+05:30

watch

watch

2008-05-03T13:34:00.002+05:30

stop. record. its over. stop. play.

leaving

2008-05-03T13:26:00.004+05:30

Title: Good bye

So long, farewell, dream on,
Never stop.
Remember me, miss me,
For I will, I will.
Hope you find your sky where you go,
Hope its blue and filled with your dreams
Send me a letter,
Send me some thoughts.
Kisses, embraces, seperation,
Days, minutes, all are etched safe in my memory.
Its all mine to keep,
And you can never take that away from me.
This is meant to be this way,
This is hard and easy at the same time.

I will miss you,
Take care of your heart.
-1:32pm
3/5/2008

nothing

2008-05-02T11:05:00.002+05:30

nothing.

nothing.

nothing.

we will be free someday. free from our minds that captivate us, our thoughts that keep lurking.
we will be free from this world. we will soar and fly and dance through the nights that haunt us now.
we will be gone.
we will learn to be sad and happy and excited and silent. we will learn from all the mistakes and we will be one. someday. somehow.

we will learn the strength and the weakness. we will find that walking stick to help us walk during the days that we cannot move.

until then, this too shall pass my friend, my love. this too shall pass. and we will learn.

Stay

2008-04-30T11:27:00.003+05:30

"Stay..", I whisper, I crave.
My body and soul, sore from the pain and tears.

It agonizes the strength in me and makes me seep through into weakness. I am strong, we are all strong, but..on some days we need to be cradled in loving arms, like a child who had a fall.

"Stay..", is all I can manage to say. To feel and to think.
Yet they left...while I lay on the floor, in the river of my tears and the sky of my pain. They left. One by one, soul by soul. One more angered than the other. One more stupid than the other, one more helpless than the other.

"Stay..", I scream. The wind carresses and kisses and She's all I have for company. The tears don't stop, I am alone. WE are all alone.

"Stay..", I whisper, I crave.
Why can't it be as simple as that, just stay and we'll figure it all? We'll work towards the future and stay.

Stay with me...watch me fade or soar or die or live or or or...but..just stay..

2008-04-24T11:15:00.001+05:30

Its just another day,
Just another song.
Its just another way
That life comes along.

mixed emotions

2008-04-05T14:03:00.004+05:30

look at me.
i am still the same.
i still feel the same.
i deserve some respect for all that i have done. for that i have felt.
don't love me. don't hate me. respect.
gratitude. no need for you to say the words-thank you.
atleast seem like you have the gratitude.

i am not a bad person. i deserve a smile. a hello. a goodbye, maybe.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sounds seep through, of your voice, your laugh. your eyes linger on the stare.
you cry. your tears on my fingers, my heart skip's a beat.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
she's gone.
never to return. death consumes. every second seems longer.
she's gone.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
how can i make it better? how can i stop these tears, from your eyes and mine?
should i stay or should i go?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sweet love, sweet sorrow, sweet nothing.

nothing..

nothing.

Rain Rain come again

2008-04-02T15:20:00.004+05:30

Its raining now, heavy and light...lightening and thunder crack the walls of the sky.

This rain is much calmer compared to the hail storm that Bangalore experienced on Sunday. Hard drops of ice and water. It was an honour to have been stuck in the middle of it all, inside a box, that we most often refer to as a car (nothing againt cars I might add!), with a good friend, who was scared to death of dying under a branch, that MIGHT fall on us!

I can never forget the sounds and the visuals of that day and the feeling of fear, joy and nevervouness all wrapped up into one gaint smile on our faces! We became children for that hour of the storm...and of all days the flight had to be schduled for that day. I couldn't stop worrying and praying that the flight be cancelled. But modern life has its way of winning too..she did take off and land safely, to my amazement and relief!

There were floods on the streets and headlights on at 3:00pm! Zero visibility and loud cracks of thunder and display of lightening! It almost felt like Mother Nature was chuckling to herself and throwing a party in the sky! The trees moved with the wind, drops danced along and made love to the world! How I wish I was a leaf! And how I wish I didnt need to be dry! :)

The storm was quick and passed in the same hurry it came through to us; left me like a child wanting more candy, more of that sweet and irresistible candy!

Now it rains some more, keeps me waiting for more...more for a day when I can run free under the sky...more for a day when I can have the chance to stand still under the fury of the rain...more for a day when I don't have to be at work!!

"There's a rush,
And I can't help but blush!
The rain leaves a scar,
No caste, no race, no bar!
The rain leaves a dream,
And that's Her evil scheme!
The rain touches and kisses,
And in our ear the wind hisses!
It rains, with drops seeping through our skin,
And I feel lost and found within!
Let it rain some more,
And these feelings will come again in galore!"
-2 April 2008
4:06pm

Here we go again

2008-03-18T16:48:00.005+05:30

Still and silent.
"The rain drips on, she cries on".
A storm raged on and danced through our weekend in our city. It was music to the ears and a lullaby for tired souls.

We wasted time, walking and talking. Enjoyed the drops in our silences.

Its amazing how a shower of such sorts can make you feel joy. The excitement is irreplacable. Hearts racing, eyes shimmering, surfaces filled with clear, clean drops from the heavens above.

"...lets waste time, chasing cars, around our heads...if i lay here, if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world.."

Moments pass us by, time pass us by. Words are all that remain and emptiness is all I feel.

"Come to me, open that door,
Let me love you,
Take one step forward,
I am here, waiting for this moment.."

I wish I could help...I wish I could turn back time.
I wish the memories were frozen into a photo frame and I could go back to them anytime I please.

"Dream some more little ones,
Remember some more,
Come back here some more,
And we'll tangle our thoughts into one big world."

you and me

2008-03-06T17:20:00.004+05:30

hey you,

how have you been? is it warm there? are you well? have you met someone? someone other than me and her?

will you ever see me as the girl you would be with, grow old with?

i miss you when i'm trying to fall asleep, its harder now. after spending those nights in your arms, sleeping in your arms, it has become harder to fall asleep now. i wish we would be together at all times. i wish we didn't need to work. i wish it could be this simple, just you and me and our world.

hope you are well. hope you think of me. i think of you, almost everyday. i have tried to move on, but sometimes i think, why the f*** should i. might as well hope. but then again, its not the same on all days. you are gone and i'm wishing you were here. i have no idea what i would have said or done. but you would be near and that would have been different, easier maybe. then again, your thoughts haunt me and i feel foolish.

most of the time i make no sense when it comes to you. and i don't have the courage to tel you, again, that i love you. but i will. i have to. you have to know. i have to be able to give "us" a chance. even if you don't want me to.

we don't have a song...

i wish you could see the night sky from my window.
its purple sometimes.. your favourite colour.

love,
me

chat

2008-02-27T14:02:00.008+05:30

this is a chat from 2007, august. the boys that both of us a referring to have turned out to be IDIOTS! but isn't this a cute chat?? :)

16:18 Lu: he is committing suicide of our relationship

our

me: he s dying or the relationship?

16:19Lu: he is murdering the relationship

me: ahhh

wat he say?

Lu: he depressed it seems

16:20me: :)

tel him to screw himself

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

13:23me: should change ur pic too

Lu: y

13:24me: why not

13:25Lu: podi

me: u podi
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

11:48me: did u sleep?

11:52Lu: no

11:55me: why not?

Lu: wait

11:56me: waiting

Lu: busy man wait
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

23:01me: its a question

wait

he kissed me

on the cheek

Lu: wat the fuck

oh ok

i was just gonna

me: ya

Lu: ask if you kissed him back

me: so cutely

Lu: lol

how cutely

23:02me: cos i have fever..take care and kissed me

Lu: awwww

23:06 me: i know..

so cute

Lu: hmmm

me: i asked wat do u do when the hope tht was floating drowns

Lu: you just build another one to float

23:07me: hmm..

wat if its all drowned

Lu: thats the beauty of hope

you can always generate new

not only renew it

but create more

23:08me: hmm

anyway

why u got pissed when i said he kissed me

Lu: i dint

i was excited

wrong emotion

23:09me: ohhhh

ok..

so how it is going

------------------------------------------------>>>>>>>>>>> Sometimes the internet helps, talks and consoles.

chat

2008-02-27T11:21:00.001+05:30

me: where ba

u disappeared only

good morning by the way

11:53 s*: hi ba mornin

hows your sunday?

me: good..

sleepy

11:54 but yea

urs?

11:55 s*: ok ba

me: wat u did?

11:56 everyone was asking for u

10 minutes

12:06 s*: shit yeah ba was so fed up with my phone was only gettin me in trouble so put it on silent n buried it in my bag.... suddenly at 2 in the morn woke up n realised i had no alarm cha sad then with eyes half closed went huntin for it... traumatic it was

12:07 went to st johns ba... some disastrous concert type thingy it was so bad tht it was funny

12:08 me: atleast u tripped on it right?

so it wrks out..

s*: yeah ba as a last resort it was either kill myself or be amused

12:09 me: be amused is th choice i see..

s*: wht yu did?

me: :)

nothing, came home, watched tv, ate, dozed off on the sofa..woke up at 5

ran out, met some friends near home

ended up at ****

went home

12:10 extemely bored ba

and now i am so so so sleepy

s*: jus pass out on desk for a bit ba. it helps

me: i did already

13:02 me: what do u call sants's helpers?

13:05 >santa's

9 minutes

13:14 s*: wht ba?

13:17 me: subordinate clauses! :)

27 minutes

13:45 s*: good one ba

13:46 me: :)

lunch?

39 minutes

14:25 s*: now am goin

14:26 me: wow..

very quick response i must say

s*: hee hee was busy ba wht to do

Poetry for thought

2008-02-26T14:38:00.005+05:30

Title: slow

thoughts crash into me,
i bleed them and tease them,
her voice helps me through,
and the black rain kisses my soul.
on nights like these,
when silence can be heard,
when the black rain pours,
is when we see the dark side.
black rain blanket comforts,
it wounds,
it touches and leaves drops of kisses,
it tears and rips my skin open.
my body moves with her,
black rain like a knife on my skin,
one kiss past and she's gone,
just like that, she's gone.
i can't feel my feet, my body,
its harder to breathe now,
i can hear a whisper saying,
"Die my darlin', you look better in my memories"

-26/2/2008

Special thanks to S for the last line.

Friends

2008-02-15T11:25:00.001+05:30

16/03/2007

A friend inspires...

"She strolled through the day thinking of a stranger. The thought of coming back to the monotonous office space to mail her brought a smile to her lips. Her body aching and her mind sick, she sat down to mail, to say good night. Just to say a simple good night.
The clock's ticking, she's dreadfully late. Though she is part of the working class, and her job demands late hours, she still had obligatory reasons to get home. Home?? She wonders. She forcefully stops her train of thought, which she decided to resume on the bumpy ride 'home'. She finishes her mail...her lips swollen with smiles. And her mind relaxed, she walks out into a busy world, where she's all alone.
Smiling, because, tomorrow, she'll enter this portal again to 'meet' her friend......"

Love Story

2008-02-08T12:48:00.000+05:30

I bury my feet in the sand, draw a circle around myself and then decide to stay inside it. Then I walk away, far away, draw another circle around me and decide to stay inside it!

It never works, the sea calls to me, longs for my feet. So I walk, slowly, teasing the water. Slowly moving my toes, gesturing to be shy and then my feet. The water smiles and kisses the wind. My feet are happier now and free from the circle.

I stay there, watching the water slip through my toes and thrill my senses. I look ahead and I see, the ocean singing out to me. I close my eyes and I feel the sun. My skin draws in and shies away. My eyes close and I breathe some more. The sun whispers and smiles and keeps my skin occupied. My eyes dream and soar and the water moves through my feet.

My body moves, though I’m still.

We make love and the ocean screams.
We make love and I can’t breathe.
My skin tingles and heaves.
The water roars and rushes.

The current is stronger now, pulling me in, making me want more. My feet are numb and joyous.
The ocean moves faster and my insides feel weaker. Sprinkles of water on my face, I can feel the rush and hurry now. It’s just my feet in the water, but the ocean doesn’t tease. The waters force their way up to my knees. And I am half way there.

I can hear the wind in my ear. Soft kisses it leaves.
The world is empty now; it’s just me and the sea. It’s just us and the wind. It’s just us and the sun.

Ocean dreams fill up the void. We soar and roar together.
My body moves, though I’m still.
We don’t stop, its not over yet.
We still move as one. Hearts beating together.
Fingers of drops run through my hair, my neck and my back.

The sky closes in and sets the mood. It rains now, sweet drops, hard and fast drops.

I can feel the ocean now. Faster and faster and faster…

I can’t go on; erotism and fantasy merge and surge through my bones.
We don’t stop its not over yet.
We still move, I can’t go on, but we still move.
The winds don’t stop kissing my neck; the rain doesn’t stop searching my soul.
The ocean doesn’t stop and I can’t go on.

I jolt my eyes open and hesitantly walk backwards. my feet lingers, my toes are playful. I can’t move, I don’t want to leave. The rain slows down, the ocean moans. The wind caresses and my soul breathes. I don’t want to stop, I can’t go on.

I linger in the salty dream and step away slowly.
Dreams are all that remain.

I bury my feet in the sand, draw a circle around myself and then decide to stay inside it, try to stay inside it………..

-12:51pm

8/2/2008

You & Me

2008-02-06T13:25:00.000+05:30

hey you,

i missed you. you were on my mind. can you see the sky? the sky in my eyes?
she is closer than before..and she can't seem to let go, neither can i..

our cravings still sway me..move me..and taunt me..

i wish you could stay beside me, while i try and fall asleep. i know it will be hard while your sweet scent haunts me...while your hand sweeps through my hair, my neck, my skin. i will try harder and harder to stay awake, but you will let me fall asleep. i know you will...

you will wake me again and kiss my neck...i know you will....

I wish you could see the night sky from my window.
Its purple sometimes.. your favourite colour.

love,
me

Poetry for Thought

2008-02-05T15:26:00.000+05:30

I have just returned from Gokarna. Gokarna does some good to my mind and soul. I return with a different view towards everything..
And I cannot seem to explain these feelings. The following is a glimpse into my thoughts. I will fill in more..when words are easy...

((untitled))

Blue skies and blue horizons,
Pearls of laughter and silence,
Our feets move while they stay,
Our minds merge while our lips are hushed.
People talk and smile,
Walks into the sky,
And dreams into our eyes,
City life seems unclear.
The water rushes back and forth,
Breaks my heart to know I'm far,
I can't see the sparks anymore,
City life seems unclear.
"Here we go again",
The end is near,
I miss the sea and the wind,
I miss them and our feet.
Close your eyes and we'll float some more,
Lets dream some more and soar some more,
All good things come to an end,
But, we'll be back again.

-5/2/2008
3:52pm

Poetry for Thought

2008-01-23T17:12:00.000+05:30

Title: Question Mark

The gum in my mouth is stale,
The teacher ahead is in slow motion.
Thoughts flow slowly,
And my phone's ringing with concern.
Friends far away,
Feels like everything has stopped.
Future, present and past are redolent,
Thoughts are constant and eternal.
People dying and screams in my head,
I can feel their hearts stop.
What is our purpose here,
What does our destiny hold?
Death and life are advertised here,
All that matters is getting to the grave.
Feels like an open wound,
Deep and being infested by insects.
These thoughts, these thoughts are
All that remain.
Questions unanswered, answers unquestioned,
What is our purpose here?
Are we the saviours of our world,
Or the destroyers?

-15/2/2007

Hallelujah

2008-01-22T14:47:00.000+05:30

"well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah" (complete lyrics) (Wikipedia) (YouTube-OC)

This is my current addiction. This song is so well written, well sung and just brings so many emotions to surge through.

So love life is going at a pace I don't understand.
Interesting/unusual things keep happening with friends. Never make plans early. It will fall apart! :)

I think I am losing control again.

Its nice to be on the other side as well. When someone craves for you first, persues you. And then you fall, fall flat on the face.
Its nice. I have certainly not been on this side. And I can see how I make someone else feel now!

New friends, new souls.
New joys, new wounds.
But the past still haunts and taunts.
Teases and drags.
It never ends sometimes.
And this eternity is unwanted!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

So the sky screamed a little,
And wailed a little.
My heart skipped a beat,
And jumped a little.
Are you here,
Are you near?
It rains, it rains, it pours,
It gives joy and brings tears.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Poetry for Thought

2008-01-19T11:53:00.000+05:30

Continued from the below post..

Title: Dream

Maybe this thought will never end,
This thought of me under your skin.
This dream of our tangled feet,
Our merging souls.
This thought of eternity in this moment,
This secert affair in our minds.
Maybe it is meant to be just this,
Meant for it to be unreal, yet so real.
The ocean dreams fill up the void,
Maybe this thought will never end..

I wish for this to be real,
I wish for this to have a name.
Our kisses seep through my skin,
Maybe this thought will never end.
Kiss me again and again,
You pull me in and then drag me out.
Sweet carresses in my mind,
Its time to go again, time to leave.
All this seems to be a journey,
Let me find you, let me hold you...

It has come again, the time to leave,
I am left with the scent of your skin.
I am left with thoughts of your soul,
Maybe this thought will never end.
Close your eyes and dream a little,
Dream my dream a little.
Let all collide, burn and end,
Lets be here, today, now.
Maybe this thought will never end,
The thought of me under your skin.

-19/1/2008
12:03pm

Figments

2008-01-16T14:38:00.000+05:30

Maybe this thought will never end,
This thought of me under your skin.
This dream of our tangled feet,
Our merging souls.
This thought of eternity in this moment,
This secert affair in our minds.
Maybe it is meant to be just this,
Meant for it to be unreal, yet so real.
The ocean dreams fill up the void,
Maybe this thought will never end..

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

I have nothing much to say. Above are the first few lines to a much longer poem.

Days feel so empty and I feel lost.
I feel tired. I am angry. Irritated. Happy. And so many more all at once.
Its a jungle of emotions in my head. And I just want to curl up in bed for eternity. And sleep.
I don't want to be sleepy and not sleep.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

She loves me. The look in her eyes is to die for. She lights up sometimes. And its a sight to see.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

i want to go, far, far away,
get lost a little,
and find a lot more.
dream a little,
and live them a lot more.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

And here it comes again,
The end, like always.

Discover a little more,
And be fasinated.
It helps,
It calms.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

:*

Music

2008-01-07T17:16:00.000+05:30

KT TUNSTALL-THROW ME A ROPE (video)

I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you
But everything here is telling me I should be fine
So why is it so, above as below,
That I'm missing you every time

I got used to you whispering things to me into the evening
We followed the sun and its colours and left this world
It seems to me that I'm definitely
Hearing the best that I've heard

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

And whenever you go it's like holding my breath underwater
I have to admit that I kind of like it when I do
Oh but I've got to be unconditionally
Unafraid of my days without you

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Whenever I'm falling you're always behind me
Come back and find me
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

Poetry for Thought

2008-01-03T10:20:00.000+05:30

Title: New Year

Its another year,
"Oh dear, Oh dear!",
Said the children near.

The skies are lit,
And the children didn't sit,
It was like a King's fit!

The time has come,
"Please don't use a gun",
We all have a part of the sun!

The time has come,
Lady screamed at the children, "Don't pick up the crumbs!",
None heard the scream, expect some!

The lady had been drinking some gin,
And the children had a race to win,
And now we sing to new year born, "Let the blahs begin!"

-3/1/08
10:54am

Interesting poem don't you think?!

Inspired by: "The Walrus and the Carpenter", by Lewis Carroll and The Stygian Sailor's comment on this blog, author of "KAFKA cafe"

2007-2008

2008-01-02T12:16:00.002+05:30

Sparks up above, time stops for a few seconds.
And I was there alone. No one to hug, expect acquaintances.
An experience to be remembered.

^^^^^^

I have new found respect for bartenders, waiters and the food and beverage department in general.

^^^^^^

It has recently come to my notice that I have a bad habit of distancing myself. I can see it in their eyes. They almost hate me. But please understand, they are all I have.
But I can see it, I can see so much..

^^^^^^

Lost many, found some more,
Years end and journeys too.
People gone, people found,
Ah 2008, you are finally here.

^^^^^^

Its all a blank..

^^^^^^

I have nothing to say.

^^^^^^

Happy new year, I wish you a great year. I wish you the best.
Close your eyes and make a plan, it will happen.

^^^^^^

When you are alone, click your way here, let me give you company.

^^^^^^

I have known him for so long, his name, his class, his section, his teachers.
But now he says he has to leave this city. I can't seem to understand why.
And all I knew of him was that. Those childish details. He taught me how be good at bowling.

I hardly know him, but I have known him for over 5 years.

^^^^^^

KaTe was here.
She is a whiff of fresh air, I have missed her so.
She seemed upset though, she denies this, but she did seem upset.
I miss her.

^^^^^^

:) days go by,
Blog gets longer.
Come back soon,
I'll have more to say!

^^^^^^

I don't care, these souls suffice, the thoughts and memories suffice..
You suffice, your interest in these words suffice, though I don't know what you are, could be or were ...your love, your thoughts, your dreams, tangled in mine suffice...

^^^^^^

Lisa Love

2007-12-29T10:36:00.000+05:30

Title: Blue

And then I made it ten,
Its all in her eyes: they said.
Its december, its a year gone,
Without Lisa, without her love.
Our home isn't home anymore,
My memory fails me slowly.
I wore that dress, it still smells like her,
I must catch up with her.
I need to catch up with her,
Lavender dreams fill my eyes.
Its all gone,
So quickly, so slowly.
How can I forget if I don't want to?
How can I forget if I don't want to?
I stay still, with the sounds of the ocean in my ear,
I breathe and sob and soar and die.
Talk to me, whisper a song,
Don't leave yet.
And then I made it ten,
Its all in her eyes: they said.
Never had (never will have) a love like this,
Its all in her eyes: they said

-29/12/2007

10:32am

Poetry for Thought

2007-12-28T13:47:00.000+05:30

Title: ((untitled))

Black fever under my skin,
It rains, purple, green and soft drops.
I cringe and move under the grey sky,
My eyes are still.
I lay under the sinful sky,
He sings, I can hear him sing.
" Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I’m dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath", he sings.
All I can hear is his voice,
I am dead and all I can hear his voice.
Its peaceful, his voice,
The music, the rain, the death.
The song goes on,
It doesn't stop raining.
Come hold my hand,
Let me love you, remember you for eternity.
The grey sky turns red,
I turn blue.
Don't kiss me yet, I can still see,
Its over, finally, I'm free.
Don't kiss me yet,
I'm fading still, I can still see.
I'm free, its over now,
"Thus with a kiss I die".

- 28 december 2007
2:13pm

then some and poetry

2007-12-21T16:20:00.000+05:30

"Your lips upon my lips,
Can you just picture this...
Your finger tips on my finger tips,
Your skin upon my skin...
Would be the Sweetest Sin." (song by Jessica Simpson)

This song has been stuck in my head, maybe not the song, but that paragraph. So here it is, up on blog!

I like being right, and I recently was! So I am high on that!

I love The Gang, I meet them in my dreams too. Pure friendships! No hassles of a boyfriend/girlfriend! We are all just FRIENDS. I like friends. I love friends! I love The Gang!

So, that song, Sweetest Sin, lingers in my mind too much!
Lingers..
Sad..

Its hard when you know you can't get that something you want, but you know what??
I don't care! I can't get it, I know!

But so what?! Sweetest Sin, sounds good in my head!

Title: Linger

Fingers linger through mine,
I can't let go.
Skins merge, thoughts surface,
Two hearts beat as one.
I can't let go,
My hand, my mind.. lingers on.
I can't wait for us to be,
But, we can never be.
Sleep, sleep some more,
I can kiss some more.
Eyes closed and the moon above,
Starry night, and I can't let go.
Soft carress on my skin,
I close my eyes, and breathe.

-21/12/07

I can't write past that as I am experimenting with words. As you may notice i haven't used him/her in this, which is the idea! I can't think today, I will finish it some other day.

You & Me

2007-12-15T12:13:00.000+05:30

Hey you,

Its been a while since I kissed your lips.

I wish I could disappear in your arms, cry and dissolve these sordid emotions.
I want you to hold me forever...this is hard..especially when you don't see me...don't love me...

I tip-toed into Sandman's dreams. And saw us together. In our big house.

You are here, but you are gone..you are gone from my heart.
You locked the doors and lost the keys, didn't you?

Oceans apart, souls apart, dreams apart...will we be together?
You dislike that I care, don't you?

I wish you could see the night sky from my window.
Its purple sometimes.. your favourite colour.

Love,
Me

untitled

2007-12-15T12:00:00.000+05:30

While I lay, prepared to fall asleep,
I stared at the ocean in my bedroom wall and the stars in my mind.
I listened to the imaginery wind and music, soft and supple,
The sounds of the ocean, the carress of the wind.

I lay there, still,
Breathing softly.
Maybe if I just stay here, still, unmoving,
Maybe the pain will disappear.
Maybe, just maybe, it will all go away,
The betrayal, the false friends, the lies, the false hopes.
Just maybe, if i just stay still,
Just maybe..

Maybe I will dissapear, slowly,
Drowning into the warm Earth.

words

2007-12-10T16:21:00.001+05:30

Speed of lights can be frightening behind closed eyes. Especially when you want to sleep, and can't close your eyes.
And one day, some day, it will slow down. Until then, lets race!

<
>
<

Draw in my soul, I am drained. Come lets find the cafe in the sky...

<
>
<

When the world seems empty, think of me..atleast you will have company in your mind. Imagination isn't that bad. Lets imagine..

<
>
<

Friends make up for the sudden loss of my rainbow. Actually, imagination makes up for it, friends too. I'm stormless, but the real question is, is the stormless-ness here to stay?? When will my rainbow stick to my soul again..?

<
>
<

Lets find the cafe in the sky, Dance, while the sun screams orange in our eyes. The red in your eyes lingers on my skin, The purple on your lips tingles my senses.

<
>
<

I see so much love.. I see so much hate.. More hate, than love.. Come let me love you, And you can hate me..

<
>
<

I don't care, these souls suffice, the thoughts and memories suffice..
You suffice, your interest in these words suffice, though I don't know what you are, could be or were ...your love, your thoughts, your dreams, tangled in mine suffice...

<
>
<

Lets be together. Virtually. We will never have a breakup. Our love will never end. My words, your words, our words, our worlds..let all merge..

<
>
<

Poetry for thought

2007-12-07T10:12:00.001+05:30

Title: We

The distance between us grows,
The silence between us screams.
The children between us dance,
And the moments between us fade.
Our bodies move as one,
But our soul doesn't merge.
Our eyes meet and greet,
But our mind doesn't sync.
We talk,
But we say nothing.
We kiss,
But our lips part in 5 seconds.
We smile,
But we don't.
I think its time to say,
We need to talk.

-7/12/07
10:19am

List

2007-12-05T12:16:00.000+05:30

Things to do after watching a movie (before going to bed):
1] Wonder if life could be that simple.
2] Wonder if life could be that complicated.
3] Ponder over the number of takes in the whole movie.
4] Watch the credits, and remind yourself to remember to download these songs fom Limewire the next day.
5] Imagine how the actors look without make up.
6] Smile at yourself.
7] Watch all the ads. And be amazed at the patience you have in the middle of the night to watch ads.
8] Try not to fall asleep. Even though you have to wake up early the next day.
9] Change channels to find another movie to watch.
10] Yawn.
11] Stick to VH1 for sometime, songs are always entertaining.
12] VH1 classic is not so much fun when sleep tries to take over, so change the channels again.
13] Watch some more ads.
14] Finally switch off the TV.
15] Call your friend to see if he/she's awake.
16] Ask her/him if he/she saw the movie on TV, and discuss it regardless.
17] Then say you are going to bed and hang up.
18] Walk around the house, drink water.
19] Snuggle into bed, stare at the window for a bit.
20] Be motivated to persue acting. Yawn, then fall asleep.

List

2007-12-04T11:27:00.000+05:30

Things to do on Facebook:
1] Stare at the homepage.
2] Add and delete applications.
3] Change profile picture.
4] Find friends, even though you cannot see their profiles. And then stare at their profile picture and wonder if it is the same person.
5] Poke friends, and sometimes chuck a book at them.
6] Write on walls.
7] Stare at the homepage.
8] Stare at your profile.
9] Log out and log in again after a few minutes.
10] Change status messages and wait for the number of minutes to be calculated.
11] Go through other people pictures, as you have none.
12] Ponder upon how they have so much time to click these pictures, edit them and put them up on FB.
13] Ponder upon leaving the social site, then decide against it.
14] Wonder if there will ever be a community dedicated to you after you die.
15] Yawn while staring at the homepage
16] Check if any friends are online, if they aren't wonder how they wrote on your wall at the same time.
17] Wonder why FB has almost 55 million people.
18] Stare at the homepage, yawn.
19] Use an application, finally.
20] Stare at the homepage, and then log out..

Jazz Age

2007-11-29T10:30:00.000+05:30

During the JAZZ AGE (the period from 1918-1929), many of the songs included the acceptance of homosexuality. One of these had the title "Masculine Women, Feminine Men."
The lyrics are really creative:

Masculine women, Feminine men

Which is the rooster, which is the hen?

It's hard to tell 'em apart today! And, say!

Sister is busy learning to shave,

Brother just loves his permanent wave,

It's hard to tell 'em apart today! Hey, hey!

Girls were girls and boys were boys when I was a tot,

Now we don't know who is who, or even what's what!

Knickers and trousers, baggy and wide,

Nobody knows who's walking inside,

Those masculine women and feminine men!

Poetry for thought

2007-11-26T18:11:00.000+05:30

Title: Come

Come, come into my arms,
I'm here aren't I?
Maybe life's too short,
Maybe life's too long.
As long as we sing our songs,
It will keep us alive.
Come, come lets sing,
Come, fade into my soul.
Lets cry together,
Maybe even laugh a bit.
I can feel your pain,
Responsibility is bringing you down.
Don't fall into emptiness,
Fall into my arms, into my body, into my soul.
Don't pretend like it doesn't hurt,
Let me be near you, hold you.
I know you don't need a saviour,
I won't save you, don't throw me out.
Maybe I need you too,
To cry with, pain is inside us.
Maybe I need you,
To laugh with, joy is inside us.
Pale, you look pale,
And I see myself in your eyes.
We are alike, yet unlike,
We are together, yet far apart.
Come, come into my arms,
Fade away in me.
We are one, we have the same song,
We have the same mind.
Lets be together now,
Come, come lets fade away.
The sounds of the ocean I hear,
Memories of when you were so near.
Where were you while you were hurting,
Where were you without me?
Take me with you,
Let me take you with me.
Come, lets fade,
Come, come into my mind, body and soul.
Come, lets search for sand man,
Lets find him.
Come, hold my hand,
Lets free our pain.

-26/11/2007, 6:26pm

Interaction

2007-11-16T10:47:00.000+05:30

If there is good and bad, right and wrong and win and loss, how can you have an in between?
And is there an in between?

All the people who step in here, browse through, lets talk about this. Comments would be appreciated, answers welcome!

Ichoo Pichoo

2007-11-12T10:14:00.000+05:30

That's by the far the most adorable way to describe a yucky worm!
Every time Su saw one of those at Gokana she would exclaim, "Ichooo Pichooo!!".

I found some peace at Gokarna. Some new friends, some new ideas evolved.

Totally 4 bus rides, almost 6 auto rides, almost 5 hours of walking in 1 and a half days and the rest was just plain laziness!

Wonderful.
Will go back there, soon.

*blink*
"....our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds......."

Thoughts are clearer now...

This holiday was truly a simple pleasure..