Poetry for Thought

Title: June

You didn’t send me your overly seductive birthday message.

And I find myself wondering if this is (finally) over between us,

This dance of conversation between the silences.

I found myself reading our old messages, emails – filled with promises,

“I will never stop loving you”

“You make me better”

“I’m sorry for being an asshole, but you are the best thing that happened to me, and I will never stop loving you”

You and me are a faint memory now, the relationship,

But between those blurry flashbacks,

Some stand out like a flood light, lighting up my weakest and strongest moments.

You, my love, are light and dark,

An addiction and a rehab,

I want to hurl abuses at you,

And at the same time….

Pull you close into a warm embrace.

I’m jaded now; carefully stitching words to all the new people I meet,

I didn’t say ‘I love you’ to one lover until we broke up.

I’m jaded now;

I say ‘I love you’ to everyone, afraid of losing them.

So is it finally over between us?

Poetry for thought

Title: Silence

YouTube plays a song that I heard when I hardly heard your voice.

When you were far away,

Even in these notorious times of technological connections.

“Invest in cuddles, and not conversations,” I said, yesterday.

And today I am craving for all those conversations we never had,

And even more so for those silences.

Though we were silent, it was in separation.

Silence in togetherness has its own melody,

Its own dance, its own memory.

As the song comes to an end, so does this verse.

We have drifted far from that month long, self-imposed exile,

From our love, our silences, our cuddles and everything in between.

And here we are today, in silence, but together.

Poetry for thought

Title: Imagination

Imagination doesn't suffice on a day like today,

Today should be spent falling asleep under trees,

With your hand in my hair,

Collecting smiles, watching the colour Red

Dancing in your eyes.

With every gaze, I fall apart,

And with every smile,

You put me back together,

Give me all those smiles,

I'll bottle them up and keep them for cold nights.

On days like today, imagination doesn’t suffice,

I close my eyes and I can feel your breath at my neck,

But you aren’t here and I am not there,

But imagination… is a bitch, makes you want it

Right now. Right here.

On a day like today, you should be here,

Distracting me, teasing me,

Leaving me struggling for air,

Did I mention?

Imagination doesn’t suffice on a day like today.

I am left wondering if I would forget how you smile,

And I am being greedy with memories,

Trying to always remember,

Replaying them over and over and over….

Because, you know, imagination doesn’t suffice,

9 January, 2018

Poetry for thought

Title: Pictures

I want to send you pictures,
Disconnecting in this connected world is hard.
So.
I want to send you pictures.

But will these pictures ever tell you those thousand words they are supposed to?
Proverbs are being questioned now.

Let's not digress.
I want to send you pictures,
Of my day, of my face, of my hips, of my skin.

And you ask me for them,
For the fleeting moments in my day.
I willingly submit to your demands.

But will these pictures ever tell you those thousand words they are supposed to?

Well, they don't tell you things like -
The flowers are blooming here and you should touch them.
The flowers are just background fillers in the picture I send you.
But you should be here looking at them,
And me looking at you.

But.
But..
But...
I still want to send you pictures,
Maybe some day
The words will come back,
And pictures will scream,
And they will tell stories.

And I will be listening to you
Reliving those pictures.

Poetry for thought

Title: Travel

When we travel,
You and me,
It seems like time travel.

One moment you are here,
With me, in my arms,
And the other you are dreaming of running away.

I run my fingers on your skin,
And you're falling asleep,
But to you my fingers could just be the breeze.

When we kiss, I am losing my mind,
With your heart beat in my mouth,
You don't know how much this means to me.

When we travel,
We are not together,
You are there and I am here.

The Series: Love Moment

When you held my hand, the nerves calmed down. Everyone, including you think I know what I want; I am cool, composed; sure and definitely not nervous. This may be true for most situations; but I cannot possibly keep the act going on forever. Sometimes one needs to balance the situation without breaking the unbelievable rare moment that is presenting itself; otherwise we’ll lose it. And here was this moment and I wasn’t ready to let it go; because you might have, we might have; someone had to hold on. When the impulsive, sure, risk taking side of me takes over the nervous side takes a back seat and panics. And like an annoying friend on a road trip, it keeps asking me “Are we there yet? I told you not to take this route. Now we’re lost! What are we going to do now?” I try to focus on you and forget that I am nervous. But when you held my hand; when our skin touched it felt alright. I smile; almost feeling like this is way too perfect to be true. Nervous? Who cares; I just need you to hold on to my hand a little longer.

We giggle, laugh and make each other smile. And in the silence that follows, the nervous passenger takes over, tugging on me to leave, to walk away. And you hold on to me. And it feels alright, just for now. Tomorrow, I may not have the strength to hold on. The night slips out of our skin and our almost whispered I Love Yous. Could tomorrow have a waited a little longer? 

And today I try; but you push me away, I look away; I push you away. This feels like I found you and lost you in seconds; in those seconds our skin touched. I look around me and life over flows; in the middle of all the mess which one of us is going to hold on now? Which one of us is going to find the other…again?

The Series: Love Moment

There is no place like home when your fingers untangle me along with my hair. Fingers tracing through my heart, my mind and finally to the tips of my hair. Untangle me once more. 

Sitting by the window I wait for the rains. You come in, with your book, brush my hair and find a spot at my feet. The smile that you flash at me could end wars. Has anyone told you that? Your eyes dart past pages looking for the book mark; my eyes can’t stop looking at you. I look out the window, wondering if this is what people call love. Who knows; it may just be a moment; a fleeting moment of warmth. I find my way into your lap, you make space almost expecting me there. One hand holds the book, the other finds its way into my hair. You say, like you were ordering a cup of coffee at a busy restaurant, “We should go to the beach soon. I like how your hair feels when we are at the beach.” So casually, still reading, it never has the intensity it should. Your body feels like I could stay there forever. As I wait for the rains, watching the world go by, I fall asleep and wake up to you still reading; as I look up, you put the book away and kiss me.

I know this kiss; I know this means you are not letting me fall asleep again.