Powered By Blogger
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Tuesday, 28 January 2020

Poetry for Thought


Title: What do you think?

Loss is weightless, isn’t it?
Like a fictitious story.
Where is the documentation of loss?
Yes, a person died,
Yes, a person left,
But is that loss?
Isn’t loss what follows?

The weightless fog that has no colour,
No smell, no speed, no way to find it in this world.

An obituary doesn’t smell of loss,
It is at the period of the last sentence, of the obituary where the loss begins.

How do you explain voices in your head from a dead person?
How do you explain the smell of your ex-lover in your room?
How do you hear a meowing of cat that is long gone?

I carry loss with me,
Everywhere, every time,
Each loss having their own personalities.
Sometimes it’s a tea party,
Where we can laugh.
But does that last forever?
Ask anyone, it doesn’t.

Can you feel that weight on your chest?
Feet? Arms? Fingers? Eyes?
Is there someone holding you down?
Did you check under the bed? Behind the doors? Inside your memory?
Questions without answers, answers without questions
Is the loop of loss, I reckon.

Well, in the end, we can make friends with our monsters,
And all monsters are not scary,
A lot of them are heavy,
Like unwanted mosquitoes when you want to fall asleep,
But they come back every night.

So what do you think?
Why is loss weightless and heavy all at once?
Why do we have this loop?
How do you end this loop?
-the end-

Monday, 4 April 2016

Thoughts

Day 12

We have been talking about finding my ground.
We have been talking about all that pain that seems to hide behind all those smiles.
I have been holding back tears, fears, words, lest I open a world that I cannot control.
You have been patient, waiting.

I wonder why we compare things. People, feelings, love, hate.
I find myself feeling like I felt this once; then wondering was it the same thing even. It was different, it was real, but so is this. Different; but why compare?

I have been wanting to find content.
And I have been on that road for a while.
So many people, things and words form this circle.
I might have just closed the loop with you.


Friday, 1 April 2016

Poetry for thought

Day 9
I feel this is incomplete, maybe not organized, but you don't live in my head now do you :) let me know what you think? Please :)

Title: One for the road


Fleeting between pages, words, sheets,
You’re the sweet kind of fire.

You are rattling cages that have been shut,
Rib cages that struggle to stay near you,
Heart cages that long to keep you inside,
Mind cages that need your smile to function.

Fleeting between pages, words, sheets,
You’re the sweet kind of fire.

I want to leave, open the cages for another,
Maybe I will forget you, maybe you will remember me,
Poetry will be written, words spilling out of every cell in my body,
We could have been something; everything.

Fleeting between pages, words, sheets,
You’re the sweet kind of fire.

I thought we could be so much,
Now I am nervous, afraid, worried,
Finally I am learning to protect myself, my heart, me,
Drawing lines, making change.

Fleeting between pages, words, sheets,
I am left wondering,
If I should have let you break me,
One for the road of rediscovery.
 

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Poetry for thought

Day 8 - 31 March 2016

This is a little all over the place. I started with one feeling and ended up with a lot more. Some times even words feel frustrated.

Title: And me, you

I have never done this before.

Did you hear about me in the wind?
When did you breach the walls of my wounds?

I have your voice in my head.
Your laugh.

My phone doesn't ring with your name.
I am forgetting how your name looks on my cracked phone screen.
Maybe, just maybe, that is a good thing.

I am slowly letting go of the urge to call you.
But it comes back; pulls me in; and it takes all of me to not call you.

I say I miss you.

I almost spill the words that will mean guilt to you,
And peace to me.

And all you say is - And me, you.

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Poetry for thought

Day 6

29 March 2016

Why won’t you sing to me?
Can’t you see I would be your best audience?

Why won’t you call me?
Don’t you know I would answer?

Why won’t you say all that you hide?
I’m still waiting; and in your silence I know the answers.

Drown


Day 6

28 March 2016

It feels like two heart breaks happened so fast and another almost fixes it. Maybe I would have three heartbreaks in a month. Maybe?

The love that never took flight is hovering all over me. Only I know how much I have to give; I could drown.

But I want to drown with you. 

In sheets, in morning tantrums, in nights with our laughter. 

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

The Series: Love Moment



When you held my hand, the nerves calmed down. Everyone, including you think I know what I want; I am cool, composed; sure and definitely not nervous. This may be true for most situations; but I cannot possibly keep the act going on forever. Sometimes one needs to balance the situation without breaking the unbelievable rare moment that is presenting itself; otherwise we’ll lose it. And here was this moment and I wasn’t ready to let it go; because you might have, we might have; someone had to hold on. When the impulsive, sure, risk taking side of me takes over the nervous side takes a back seat and panics. And like an annoying friend on a road trip, it keeps asking me “Are we there yet? I told you not to take this route. Now we’re lost! What are we going to do now?” I try to focus on you and forget that I am nervous. But when you held my hand; when our skin touched it felt alright. I smile; almost feeling like this is way too perfect to be true. Nervous? Who cares; I just need you to hold on to my hand a little longer.

We giggle, laugh and make each other smile. And in the silence that follows, the nervous passenger takes over, tugging on me to leave, to walk away. And you hold on to me. And it feels alright, just for now. Tomorrow, I may not have the strength to hold on. The night slips out of our skin and our almost whispered I Love Yous. Could tomorrow have a waited a little longer? 

And today I try; but you push me away, I look away; I push you away. This feels like I found you and lost you in seconds; in those seconds our skin touched. I look around me and life over flows; in the middle of all the mess which one of us is going to hold on now? Which one of us is going to find the other…again?