Here we go again

Still and silent.
"The rain drips on, she cries on".
A storm raged on and danced through our weekend in our city. It was music to the ears and a lullaby for tired souls.

We wasted time, walking and talking. Enjoyed the drops in our silences.

Its amazing how a shower of such sorts can make you feel joy. The excitement is irreplacable. Hearts racing, eyes shimmering, surfaces filled with clear, clean drops from the heavens above.

"...lets waste time, chasing cars, around our heads...if i lay here, if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world.."

Moments pass us by, time pass us by. Words are all that remain and emptiness is all I feel.

"Come to me, open that door,
Let me love you,
Take one step forward,
I am here, waiting for this moment.."

I wish I could help...I wish I could turn back time.
I wish the memories were frozen into a photo frame and I could go back to them anytime I please.

"Dream some more little ones,
Remember some more,
Come back here some more,
And we'll tangle our thoughts into one big world."

you and me

hey you,

how have you been? is it warm there? are you well? have you met someone? someone other than me and her?

will you ever see me as the girl you would be with, grow old with?

i miss you when i'm trying to fall asleep, its harder now. after spending those nights in your arms, sleeping in your arms, it has become harder to fall asleep now. i wish we would be together at all times. i wish we didn't need to work. i wish it could be this simple, just you and me and our world.

hope you are well. hope you think of me. i think of you, almost everyday. i have tried to move on, but sometimes i think, why the f*** should i. might as well hope. but then again, its not the same on all days. you are gone and i'm wishing you were here. i have no idea what i would have said or done. but you would be near and that would have been different, easier maybe. then again, your thoughts haunt me and i feel foolish.

most of the time i make no sense when it comes to you. and i don't have the courage to tel you, again, that i love you. but i will. i have to. you have to know. i have to be able to give "us" a chance. even if you don't want me to.

we don't have a song...

i wish you could see the night sky from my window.
its purple sometimes.. your favourite colour.

love,
me

chat

this is a chat from 2007, august. the boys that both of us a referring to have turned out to be IDIOTS! but isn't this a cute chat?? :)

16:18 Lu: he is committing suicide of our relationship

our

me: he s dying or the relationship?

16:19Lu: he is murdering the relationship

me: ahhh

wat he say?

Lu: he depressed it seems

16:20me: :)

tel him to screw himself

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

13:23me: should change ur pic too

Lu: y

13:24me: why not

13:25Lu: podi

me: u podi
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

11:48me: did u sleep?

11:52Lu: no

11:55me: why not?

Lu: wait

11:56me: waiting

Lu: busy man wait
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

23:01me: its a question

wait

he kissed me

on the cheek

Lu: wat the fuck

oh ok

i was just gonna

me: ya

Lu: ask if you kissed him back

me: so cutely

Lu: lol

how cutely

23:02me: cos i have fever..take care and kissed me

:)

Lu: awwww

23:06 me: i know..

so cute

Lu: hmmm

:)

me: i asked wat do u do when the hope tht was floating drowns

Lu: you just build another one to float

23:07me: hmm..

wat if its all drowned

Lu: thats the beauty of hope

you can always generate new

not only renew it

but create more

23:08me: hmm

anyway

why u got pissed when i said he kissed me

Lu: i dint

i was excited

wrong emotion

:)

23:09me: ohhhh

ok..

so how it is going

:)

------------------------------------------------>>>>>>>>>>> Sometimes the internet helps, talks and consoles.

chat

me: where ba

u disappeared only

good morning by the way

11:53 s*: hi ba mornin

hows your sunday?

me: good..

sleepy

11:54 but yea

urs?

11:55 s*: ok ba

me: wat u did?

11:56 everyone was asking for u

10 minutes

12:06 s*: shit yeah ba was so fed up with my phone was only gettin me in trouble so put it on silent n buried it in my bag.... suddenly at 2 in the morn woke up n realised i had no alarm cha sad then with eyes half closed went huntin for it... traumatic it was

12:07 went to st johns ba... some disastrous concert type thingy it was so bad tht it was funny

12:08 me: atleast u tripped on it right?

so it wrks out..

s*: yeah ba as a last resort it was either kill myself or be amused

:)

12:09 me: be amused is th choice i see..

s*: wht yu did?

me: :)

nothing, came home, watched tv, ate, dozed off on the sofa..woke up at 5

ran out, met some friends near home

ended up at ****

went home

12:10 extemely bored ba

and now i am so so so sleepy

s*: jus pass out on desk for a bit ba. it helps

me: i did already

:)

13:02 me: what do u call sants's helpers?

13:05 >santa's

9 minutes

13:14 s*: wht ba?

13:17 me: subordinate clauses! :)

27 minutes

13:45 s*: good one ba

13:46 me: :)

lunch?

39 minutes

14:25 s*: now am goin

14:26 me: wow..

very quick response i must say

:)

s*: hee hee was busy ba wht to do

Poetry for thought

Title: slow

thoughts crash into me,
i bleed them and tease them,
her voice helps me through,
and the black rain kisses my soul.
on nights like these,
when silence can be heard,
when the black rain pours,
is when we see the dark side.
black rain blanket comforts,
it wounds,
it touches and leaves drops of kisses,
it tears and rips my skin open.
my body moves with her,
black rain like a knife on my skin,
one kiss past and she's gone,
just like that, she's gone.
i can't feel my feet, my body,
its harder to breathe now,
i can hear a whisper saying,
"Die my darlin', you look better in my memories"

-26/2/2008

Special thanks to S for the last line.

Friends

16/03/2007

A friend inspires...

"She strolled through the day thinking of a stranger. The thought of coming back to the monotonous office space to mail her brought a smile to her lips. Her body aching and her mind sick, she sat down to mail, to say good night. Just to say a simple good night.
The clock's ticking, she's dreadfully late. Though she is part of the working class, and her job demands late hours, she still had obligatory reasons to get home. Home?? She wonders. She forcefully stops her train of thought, which she decided to resume on the bumpy ride 'home'. She finishes her mail...her lips swollen with smiles. And her mind relaxed, she walks out into a busy world, where she's all alone.
Smiling, because, tomorrow, she'll enter this portal again to 'meet' her friend......"

Love Story

I bury my feet in the sand, draw a circle around myself and then decide to stay inside it. Then I walk away, far away, draw another circle around me and decide to stay inside it!

It never works, the sea calls to me, longs for my feet. So I walk, slowly, teasing the water. Slowly moving my toes, gesturing to be shy and then my feet. The water smiles and kisses the wind. My feet are happier now and free from the circle.

I stay there, watching the water slip through my toes and thrill my senses. I look ahead and I see, the ocean singing out to me. I close my eyes and I feel the sun. My skin draws in and shies away. My eyes close and I breathe some more. The sun whispers and smiles and keeps my skin occupied. My eyes dream and soar and the water moves through my feet.

My body moves, though I’m still.

We make love and the ocean screams.
We make love and I can’t breathe.
My skin tingles and heaves.
The water roars and rushes.

The current is stronger now, pulling me in, making me want more. My feet are numb and joyous.
The ocean moves faster and my insides feel weaker. Sprinkles of water on my face, I can feel the rush and hurry now. It’s just my feet in the water, but the ocean doesn’t tease. The waters force their way up to my knees. And I am half way there.

I can hear the wind in my ear. Soft kisses it leaves.
The world is empty now; it’s just me and the sea. It’s just us and the wind. It’s just us and the sun.

Ocean dreams fill up the void. We soar and roar together.
My body moves, though I’m still.
We don’t stop, its not over yet.
We still move as one. Hearts beating together.
Fingers of drops run through my hair, my neck and my back.

The sky closes in and sets the mood. It rains now, sweet drops, hard and fast drops.

I can feel the ocean now. Faster and faster and faster…

I can’t go on; erotism and fantasy merge and surge through my bones.
We don’t stop its not over yet.
We still move, I can’t go on, but we still move.
The winds don’t stop kissing my neck; the rain doesn’t stop searching my soul.
The ocean doesn’t stop and I can’t go on.

I jolt my eyes open and hesitantly walk backwards. my feet lingers, my toes are playful. I can’t move, I don’t want to leave. The rain slows down, the ocean moans. The wind caresses and my soul breathes. I don’t want to stop, I can’t go on.

I linger in the salty dream and step away slowly.
Dreams are all that remain.

I bury my feet in the sand, draw a circle around myself and then decide to stay inside it, try to stay inside it………..

-12:51pm

8/2/2008