Monday, 8 October 2007


She looked straight into my eyes and said "Abandon that ship!!", metaphorically of course, for I've never been on a ship!

Humour aside, she was right. I had to abandon this ship. I had to abandon everyone on it!

Then I thought, we human beings have the capacity to feel and emote. To build relationships and make them work. Then, like all good things, they come to an end. And somewhere in that emotional brain of ours we know that and secretly prepare ourselves. When the moment presents itself we feel like what George Bernard Shaw says (look over to the left), when your heart is broken and all your boats are burnt, nothing matters anymore. And like he says, peace just doesn't follow this drowned boat, not that easily. There is an extreme sensation of loss at first, then followed by pain and loss, then anger...then maybe peace. I say maybe only beacuse, there could be more emotions between loss and peace, don't you think?! And peace is usually the abandonment and the final acceptance of the situation. It can never be the same. He will never think of you the same, and she will never love you the same. This is peace. Acceptance and onward movement to the future, bright or dull.

What what if he could? And what if she still does love you the same?

What if....??

It just stays in those two words...WHAT IF.....

We all make mistakes and the two good things that come out of a mistake are: experience of the situation and the second one is (this is something like a boon) the realization that it was a mistake. We will try harder now not to make the same mistake, this thought driven mostly because of the realization than the experience. For the realization finally showed you how you hurt the person or the relationship. And you can never let yourself do that again, can you?

And it is now that I realise.......

1 comment:

Anupam said...

Too bad, i've not been readin ur blogs from before... I can i think, mostly understand the analogies made and the reference point of ur work... Anyway, 1 thought though, do we really learn from our mistake and more importantly, do people really realize that it was a mistake for if the second one is not achieved, the second is nothing more than a theoretical possibility!! Our "self" would almost never allow us to acknowledge that the resulting "bad " consequence is as a result of our mistake... Instead, we indulge ourself in a whole array of defence mechanisms...
Also, i want to comment that you are right in observing that we do have a faint idea that this will not last forever from the moment of conception of any relationships.. but it is so deliberately suppressed from the realm of consciousness that it is substituted by an entirely contradicting understanding of reality in the form of elaborate patterns of hope for the longevity of relationships... No human is spared by this very strange mechanisms... gimme ur thoughts!!