James held my hand as we sat on the park bench. It was silent. No children in the park, no noise. He held my hand and his fingers were tangled up in mine. We spoke in silence. James was heart broken too, Lisa had meant something to him too. He wasn't there when she collapsed. He didn't feel her last breath on his skin. I did and the feeling still lingers.
I mumbled, and his grip got stronger.
"I don't know what death means anymore...where is she now?", I fumbled.
This is the question that sticks to me like glue.
"I can see her, hear her, feel her near me, but she's gone. That does not make sense..", I said.
Warm tears on my face. I cried. I'd been crying for long. Three days to be exact.
James cried too, still holding on to me.
I held out my hand, playing that day over again.
He pulled back, as if to shake me out of it.
"I'm alone now. What do I do....she's gone..", I whispered.
We sat there, crying. Our eyes never met and our hands never parted.
Lisa is gone and that will never change.