Thursday, 31 March 2016

3ww: Week 471 (Writing Prompt): Elated, Flicker, Halting

Day 7 - 30 March 2016
Used my favourite writing prompt page today. Tell me what you think?

Hi G,

I wonder if you think of me. I know I do. 

When I met you, when I found you, I was on shaky ground. I didn’t know how to love or be loved or even just be. Let’s put that aside, I think I am still learning how to be friends. Last year was hard. Too hard. Somewhere along the way, some things were and are being unlearnt. But when I saw you, on that rainy afternoon, something changed. I smiled, not that had forgotten how to smile, but this time, I want to smile into your eyes. I was elated, for no reason at all. I had no idea what your name was, I had no idea if I would see you again. 

That was then; now, you have let me in; not the way I would like to be; but they say something is better than nothing. I find myself being so nervous around you; lest I lose you, even the little bit I have. So many thoughts, so many feelings, but I want you, I want you with me, so I refrain. I let that flame remain a flicker. 

And then, I met someone. It felt so hard to not have you be the center of my thoughts, my words, my dreams, my imaginations. Let’s face it, the “us” I see is pure imagination. 

I know, I’m halting. I’m not saying everything. I’m not making sense. I know. But how? Where do I even begin? I know this will never go beyond this comfort zone. I can never undress you and feel like this was our idea; it will always remain my idea. I can never wake up next to you knowing this is not what you see us doing. And you would indulge me, to an extent. Maybe out of guilt, maybe out of pure adoration; but you will never undress me. You will never love me the way we are meant to love. And that isn’t something I can live with.

From being completely unsure to being so sure was strange for me. I never expected anything from you and I won’t. I knew what I was getting into. I know. And I am happy with the feelings I have. For the lack of a better word, loving you is great. This feeling is unexplainable. I am content knowing how I feel. But we must part. For the sake of my heart. And yours.

I met someone. But your eyes, your skin, your words haunt me. 


1 comment:

OnTheRightSideOfHistory said...

Your incorporation of the words Elated and Flicker is remarkable. Among every story of unrequited love that I have heard, this one is written in the most thoughtful and sweet manner.